Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Sh** or get OFF THE SCALE!

OK, either I need to STOP weighing every day or I need to STOP complaining about it! You guys were ALL right, and the scale was my friend this morning, as I was back down and beyond my lowest number yet...


I'm so close to the 170s, I can TASTE IT!

So, just for today, I can't commit to not weighing myself today, but I will commit to not complaining about how it fluctuates. If I can't keep that commitment, I may need to revisit my decision to weigh daily.

But YAY! I'm sooooo happy that this program is working! (I don't want to give you the wrong impression - that I only think it's working when the scale shows it. I haven't doubted it, and that is why I didn't blow it yesterday, but hit it even harder at the gym, like everyone encouraged me to do.)

Today, I'm home with Devon, my 6 year old, who has off for the Jewish holidays. I have a schedule all made up for her and truthfully, it's going pretty well so far. I'm struggling a little bit to stay on track with the work I have to do, but not so bad. I am just a little bit in procrastination paralysis, but will be back on track when we get back from the gym. We leave in 20 minutes.

So, off to do a simple chest workout - for some reason, Tony was easy on me today, or at least that's how it feels - and then to Whole Foods to pick up some lunch and back home to finish up my work for the day.

Talk to you guys later! Pics are coming this weekend, I promise!!

Love, Lii

Monday, September 29, 2008


I was UP two pounds this morning? How the #(%*&$!( is that possible??? I have been hitting it HARD and eating clean! Well, mostly clean. I'm still adding the occasional bacon bits to a salad, but COME ON!! TWO POUNDS???

I left a message for Tony this morning, because if I'm being honest, I would NOT keep doing this if it didn't result in a dreambody. And unfortunately, the only person in this house who could have a dreambody at 187.9 pounds is my 6'2" tall husband, dammit. I'm PISSED!

No word back from Tony. I just downloaded my workout for today. Whatever, whatever. I'll do it. Hit it hard, as usual. But I AM PISSED.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Another first - two hours of babysitting isn't ENOUGH!

WOW! Who would have thought that I would be able to workout for TWO hours straight? I am training for a half marathon, so I had to run 6 miles today, and I followed it with a 45 minutes Tony session. WOW. Did I say WOW?

I actually wasn't able to get his entire workout in, because the gym has a two hour limit on babysitting. I ended up having to stop before the last cardio interval (2 min) and only got one set of 12 reps of the behind the head presses. (OK, and I hate those exercises, anyway. Ooops - who said that? Don't rat me out to Tony.)

So, I did my stats this morning. was down 3 inches (1 inch off my abs, one off my biceps) for a total loss this month of NINE inches. I'm pretty pleased about that. Oh man, the workout is suddenly hitting me...I'm soooo tired.

Oh, and did I mention we had TWO birthday parties (for a two year old and a six year old), both with cake, one with pizza, one with hoagies and chips and I didn't have ANY OF IT? Man, I am really committed to this. Week 5, and still going strong. YAY ME!

OK, that's all for now. I'll post again tomorrow.

Friday, September 26, 2008

All is well...

First, thanks to everyone for your prayers and support. The call with my client went very well. She was incredibly cool about it, very calm and clear-headed. And, she didn't seem all together surprised, which was a good thing. We went over everything and came up with a revised schedule. I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. Hell, I can finally BREATHE. It looks like the project may be extended a couple months, too, which is a nice bonus. I'm still going to commission help with it, too, just because I will likely still need it.

That being said, we got bad news on the insurance front. DH picked the wrong coverage, and even after he picks the right coverage it only covers 50%. Good thing we have good jobs. It's going to cost us several thousand dollars to finish his root canal and get Devon's cavities taken care of. Ugh. Gotta make that girl brush her teeth better.

Anyway, it was an exhausting day. I didn't get to the gym, and was on my way there at 2 pm when I realized I wasn't going to have time for T's workout and still get to pick up Devon from school on time .I called him to find out what he wanted me to do in these types of situations. And then, I went to the party store to get the decorations for my 2-year old's birthday party tomorrow. By the time T called me back, I had bagged the gym (but left a message for DH asking if I could go later after he got home).

T and I had a good conversation, though I have to say, I'm missing all the positive hoo ha I used to get when I first started with him. I don't NEED it, per se, but I do wish he still acted like I'm rocking the caspah. We were sort of doing an inventory of all my behaviors and at one point he asked how I was doing with ACV and lemon juice and green tea extract. I told him I thought I would get the definite prize of all his divas for my ACV/LJ/GT consumption. I LOVE it! I drink it all day long (and have to keep it from my kids). He laughed. I got him to laugh!

Anyway, I can't believe I'm rounding out week 5 already. This has really become a lifestyle and thank God for that.

More tomorrow, y'all.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Insurance SUCKS.

This morning, I was up at 6 am, checking messages and email and got a message from my husband’s dental office (he had a root canal scheduled) that our insurance wasn’t covering his root canal, because all our insurance covers is preventive care.

WHAT?? Preventive care only? So, we have enough coverage to find out we have dental problems, but not enough to actually fix them?

To make matters worse, I had a dentist appointment scheduled for my 6 year old daughter later in the morning – missed the first three hours of the work day – only to find out that, of course, her cavity fillings weren’t covered either. Close to $3000 for both of them! AAACK!

Meanwhile, as I was pulling my hair out listening to MetLife tell me what I already knew, work was piling up and up and up. I make numerous calls to my husband, then to my friend who's an HR Benefits Manager for her feedback, then back to hubby to make sure he's calling his HR to get it all squared away. After all this, I finally get myself to the gym – it’s nearly 2 pm – and then realize as I’m driving home at close to 3 that I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast at 8:30 am. UGH! I get my girls to ballet at 4:45 and pull out my salad and realize I can’t find my fork. I eat what I can with my fingers before the ballet starts, then get home and make the girls peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, hot dogs, whatever, as I cook collard greens and turkey burgers (extra lean) for me and the mister.

OK, so here’s where things get a little sketchy. Remember that protein brownie I swore I’d never make again? Well, my girlfriend told me about this new peanut butter called Better ‘N Peanut Butter that only has 50 calories per tablespoon and less than 1g of fat! So, I made it with that, and it was good. Problem is, I had at least three servings between what I ate while I was making it and what I ate after dinner. Probably about 500 calories worth. (That being said, I still probably ate less than 1500 calories due to the weird sketchiness of my meals today.)

So, that’s my confession. I’m still committed. Still kicking butt in the gym (and actually seeing serious changes in my body as a result, not to mention the ten pounds I lost this month.) But I will continue to be brutally honest with you guys because I WANT THIS TO WORK, DAMMIT.

'Nuff said. Pictures next week! I know you guys are all waiting with baited breath...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

One month tomorrow!!

Thanks to everyone for your reassuring words yesterday. I had a great phone conversation with a dear friend today and she recommended I have a heart-to-heart with my client to get to a resolution that we can both be happy with. I can't keep going at this pace, that is for sure. I'll have that talk with her on Friday. Say prayers for me that it goes well for all concerned.

That being said, I have actually been very productive over the past few days. My workouts have been hardcore, although today I had a really hard time with the ab workout Tony prescribed. It started out with a 25 rep set of crunches, followed by 3 35-rep sets. Then 3 sets of 25 trunk and curls, then 2 sets of 25 bicycles, then 2 sets of 25 single leg planks (couldn't even do these - so I just did 2 25-second regular planks). Do I need to go on? I was DYING. The only thing good about it was that I was lying down.

Anyway, I still pushed out a killer 12 minute final run. 2 minutes at 4.5 mph, 4 minutes at 5.o mph, 4 minutes at 5.5, 1 minute at 6.0 mph and the last minute in 15 second intervals - 6.5, 7.0, 7.5 and 8.0. I was so tired (ovulating???) but overall, I feel good about the workout.

Biggest news? Tomorrow is one month with Tony. I have really committed to this process, laid a strong foundation, LOST TEN POUNDS, and it is only the beginning. I am thrilled, THRILLED with my progress so far, and can't wait to see what the next month will bring!

Love to all of you!


Tuesday, September 23, 2008


But I'm not.

I am so overwhelmed with work right now, and I go into every day with these big, grandiose plans for how much I'm going to get done and how productive I am going to be and then I get to work, work for hours and feel like I've gotten nothing done. (For those of you who think I'm goofing off right now, I'm on my lunch break, thankyouverymuch.)

I was on the treadmill this morning, determined to get in an extra 20-30 minutes of cardio, a la Tony, but 10 minutes into it I started getting so freaked out about all the work that was waiting for me, I hopped off. Ugh ugh ugh. So, now, here we are with only 2 hours left before I have to get Devon from school and I feel like I am exactly where I was when I started this morning! I know that's not possible, but still.

Meanwhile, I had someone who was supposed to start for me as a personal assistant (she was actually supposed to start last Thursday, but called out on her FIRST DAY). She didn't show up. Why am I held to such a work ethic, why am I so hard on myself, when others go la la la through their lives blowing off what they don't want to do whenever they want?

Anyway, food is clean. I had the weirdest lunch - thin chicken breast sandwich (the thin chicken breast was the "bread", with lf soy cheese between two pieces, and a thin layer of lite mayo. Cauliflower with ff cheese on the side. I was happy to see that my weight was down to 186.7 today. Maybe it's finally moving after all?

Monday, September 22, 2008

The Law of Attraction

So, I just have to say BIG UPS to HealthGirl for posting a comment on my Lord Help Me blog. It's amazing how we ask for help from the Lord and then help is given. It wasn't even in the form of a comment or anything like that. I was bouncing around, reading Hillary's post to me, and then her post to Melissa H on today's blog and something jumped out at me:

"...I know its not easy, but try to find something positive to think about. (trust me, I know its easier to say!) I do believe in the Law of Attraction, so I try to personally stay aware of that..."

Well, DUH. I believe in the law of attraction, too! I know that's why I have a successful training company now. I attracted it to myself, manifested exactly the vision I put into the Universe. And so what have I been manifesting lately? FATNESS. Well, that stops TODAY. Starting today, I'm all about the positive manifestation of my perfect body, my best self! I have been putting positive energy into the Universe all day and have been amazed to see it coming back ten fold!

This morning, I was THRILLED to see that a pair of pants I bought a month ago that were a bit tight when I bought them were fitting perfectly. Then, at the gym. Then, when I got to the gym, I found that the ACV drink I bring everywhere spilled all over my socks and shirt. I put the shirt on anyway (a big, oversized Race for the Cure tee), but was really uncomfortable (it was damp and stank of vinegar). I found my eyes drawn to these really cute tee-shirts I've been coveting for weeks. They're long waisted, and have colorful lip imprints all over the front and say, "Healthy bodies have more fun." I've seen ladies in the gym wearing them and they look so cute. But I would always say to myself, not yet. I can't wear that yet, my stomach is still too big. Well, today, I changed my internal tapes. I said to myself, "Self? You DESERVE one of those cute tee-shirts, and you can afford one. You have been working hard and you will look good in it!" And you know what? I DID. I couldn't believe it, and I kept looking at myself in the mirror as I worked out and thought, wow - I really am starting to look pretty cute! Then, tonight I was talking to my sponsor, whom I had breakfast with yesterday and she said, "You know, I forgot to tell you yesterday when I saw you, but you looked beautiful. When you walked in the room and sat down on the floor [at an AA meeting], I was just blown away, just in awe." Now, I know that sounds over the top, but I swear, it's what she said. And just for today, I'm going to embrace that good positive energy and happily accept more of it into my life.

I will be 150 pounds one day. I will have a beautiful, clear complexion. I am healthy and strong, committed to Tony's program. I eat clean - SQUEAKY clean - and workout hard. I know that all I have to do is continue to do what I'm doing and open myself to the wonderful blessings and rewards that are on their way to me, as we speak.

Pics in two weeks, people...stay tuned!

PS I love getting comments and would LOVE to have people following my blog. So, if you're diggin' my flow, feel free to follow!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Lord help me...

Here I am at the crossroads...how willing am I to take this all the way - come rain or shine, pain or pressure? I was so frustrated this morning - after running 5 miles yesterday, followed by a back/tri workout that lasted over an hour - to see the scale exactly where it was the day before. I was faced with the question of whether I would be willing to keep this up even if my weight never moves. How's that for a tough question to one's self?

I e-mailed Tony this morning to give him a complete run down of how I've been eating, just to see if there's something more I can/should be doing to clean up my eating. Are my portions too large? Tony says to eat until I'm full. But will that work for ME? Then, after enduring ice cream cake yesterday (when I ate noodle-less lasagna) and then pizza and ice cream later in the day (while I ate a spinach salad with grilled chicken and lite caesar dressing), and then guacamole and chips and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and kandy kakes and popcorn and grapes and canteloupe today (while I ate more noodle-less lasagna and chocolate lava cake), I finally broke down and called Tony. I knew I wouldn't be able to talk to him, because my girls are screaming in my ear all the time (in fact, I ended up having to go into the bathroom just to hear his voicemail). But his voicemail helped a lot. At least, I know I"ll make it through today.

We'll take tomorrow when it comes.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Post-Cheat Wisdom

Ugh. I feel disgusting. Not regretting my decision, but really surprised at how I feel after having eaten my first "cheat meal." First of all, I did follow Tony's suggestion and didn't bring my cheat meal into my house. I finished my 4th ACV before we went to dinner, and then my cheat began. Here's what I had:

one piece of pumpernickel bread w/butter
pita bread w/hummus and feta cheese appetizer (and a couple pieces of hubby's calamari)
3/4 cheeseburger w/fried onions, mushrooms and cheddar cheese
3/4 serving fries
Diet coke

Then onto Whole Foods for 2/3 of a peanut butter brownie and 1/2 c decaf w/whole milk and turbinado sugar.

Funniest part is that as I ate my cheeseburger, I thought how much more satisfying it would have been to have had the seabass w/risotto. How close to equally satisfying my own turkey burger w/ff cheese and grilled onions and mushrooms is, despite the lack of bun. Same when I was eating the peanut butter brownie. It tasted ridiculously like the protein brownie Tony recommended (that I'm staying away from for at least a couple months because it was just too good).

The bottom line? The only thing I'm missing with this way of eating is the GUILT. So my next question would be, why wouldn't I just eat this way for the rest of my life, if that's all that's missing? My answer? I WILL.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I'm going bananas...

OK, I admit it. I'm going bananas...I haven't had a rest day in 12 days (I'm taking tomorrow off), I'm so tired I feel like I"m going to throw up, I'm WAY behind in work and cannot catch up no matter how hard I try, I'm busting my a** at the gym every day, eating CLEAN every day, and yet nothing is changing. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING! Okay - not nothing. I've lost 2 inches this week, no weight, no bodyfat.

Tony gave me the green light for a cheat meal. One meal. Hubby and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night and I'm going to take him up on it.

Honestly, I just am soooooo tired. I think that's my biggest problem today. I'm rounding out week 4 (photos tomorrow) and am proud of the foundation for success I've laid, but ... BUT BUT BUT. Why is there always a but? I'm proud of the foundation for success I've laid. PERIOD.

I AM going to get to 150. I AM going to be ripped and hot by this time next year. I AM! I AM! I AM! I will not let the Fat Monkey crawl back up on my back. I'm doing everything I can do with this day, this one right here, to be a success.

Thank you. I am done.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Afraid to post...

Not like last time, not afraid of the backlash...I'm afraid of what I might say. What I might admit. It has been truly emotional week and DH and I have been very disconnected. Add to that the fact that I'm completely PMSing and not losing weight as a result and you understand why I've been struggling.

Those dang protein brownies. Tony recommended I get them, but didn't want me to use peanut butter in the mix. Well, the mix didn't have any instructions for how to make them without peanut butter, so I made them with. Big mistake (though a Tony-approved mistake). My servings kept getting bigger and bigger. It's gone now, thank GOD, and I won't be buying it again.

My workouts have been killer, still, so I'm glad about that. I ran an extra 2.5 miles this morning (in a half hour) and also hit it hard tonight for an hour - a great back workout. I'm looking forward to tomorrow - legs. Oh, and while I was doing chest presses, I was thinking about Evelyn's post about doing 105 pound chest presses, and I was dying with 70 pounds on there for 6 reps!

Anyway, I'm still in the game, still digging Tony's program. I just wish the damn scale would start moving again. It feels like it's been stalled for much longer than a week!!

Take care,


Monday, September 15, 2008

Still on track...

This TOM weight gain is making me slightly crazy, but I am proud to say I have been hanging in there. Eating was clean, pushed hard at the gym. I cannot WAIT to be able to report that the TOM weight gain has fled the coop for good. Any words of wisdom or experience are appreciated.

My workout today was good. My neck and shoulders are so sore - and NOT in a good way. I did really push it hard and I cannot wait to have those killer sculpted shoulders that my friends at the gym have. I was washing my face today and was really happy to see how much thinner my face is since I started this. (It's much clearer, too, despite TOM.)

I'm planning to add an extra cardio session tomorrow morning right after I drop Devon off at day care. That is one thing I did differently the first two weeks - I added three extra cardio sessions, whereas last week I only added one.

Anyway, I'm still on track. Still determined to make it to 150. This time next year, I will be there. I will be the woman I long to be. I see it! I see it!

I'm gonna peruse the blogs for awhile and get inspired.

Love y'all,


Sunday, September 14, 2008

I KNEW I wasn't crazy!

TOM has arrived! I knew I wasn't crazy. Holding fast at 189 and Tony had great advice that made me feel much better (I just knew he was going to tell me to just stay away from the scale...)

Me: Holding steady and TOM hasn't even arrived. It's messing with my head because my food is clean and I'm hitting all the workouts super hard. I feel like this is what always happens and then I give up. Like I'll never make it past this plateau and into the 170s. I want it so BAD. I'm on my way to do my training run. 5 easy miles. I know could just stay away from the scale, but how can I get back to feeling like this is really gonna work this time??

Tony: Because it IS going to work. The key is to be very aggressive at those times when you feel your weakest. Like NOW!! In other words, once the body begins to set at a point, it usually is about to break the homeostasis it's in. This week MUST be a great week.

We will talk this week :)

And with that, I headed over to the gym and ran my 5 miles and LOVED it. I had set up my new toy - the Nike iPod shoe thingie (I know - I'm about two years behind the trends). Anyway, I got a total kick out of it and ended up the 5 miles at 6 mph for the last quarter mile. YEAH me!

Today was another clean day - even though it's free day for DH, I did grocery shopping and hung out with friends who brought out snacks what felt like every five minutes. I'm so glad I hung in there and didn't give in to the pita bread and hummus, pretzels, chocolate chip peanut butter cookies (do you get the picture?). My dear, sweet friend I was visiting with is one of those interesting women who seems to be able to eat whatever she wants (really) and not gain weight. She forgets to eat. You get it.

Anyway, I know today that I AM NOT one of those people. I continue to remain diligent and kick butt in the gym and with my food.

Off to make my chocolate lava cake - meal 6. I'll keep you guys posted on when the TOM poundage finally flies off!! You know it!!

Thanks to everyone for the supportive comments. I love y'all!!!


Friday, September 12, 2008


I don't know if TOM is coming or if I'm bulking up because I haven't had a straight cardio workout in over a week or if all the stress in my life is making me hold on to weight, but I was PISSED to see 189 again this morning. PISSED. And frustrated to realize that I very well may not reach my (and Tony's) goal of 185 by Monday. Miracles happen, but not necessarily this time.

That being said, I had a GREAT day. Dropped Devon off at school, came home and had a yummy clean breakfast of egg white broccoli and ff cheese, with a side of flax oil oatmeal. Worked for awhile, then took off to the gym for a KILLER back CRIT with my f2f trainer, Kristen. I was dragging on the treadmill (also a symptom of TOM's impending entrance) and still pushed myself to escalate my speed to 7.0 mph by the end. After the workout, I gulped back the MRP shake w/glutamine I'd brought with me (is my halo sparkling?) and then headed over to Starbucks to gulp my 2nd ACV drink and work some more. At about 12:15, I headed over to the Salad Bowl, made a yummy grilled chicken and spinach/lettuce salad w/ff dressing and started on my 3rd ACV drink. (Or was it my 4th?) I then had a LONG needed and awaited massage and facial (my aesthetician was VERY impressed at how much my skin has improved since I've been doing Tony's program) and then back home to get ready for therapy.

Something weird happened here. First, I was trying to make Melissa's noodle-less lasagna, but realized I had no ground turkey. Darn. Then, I made my whey protein shake for meal 4 but when I went to drink it, with every sip I got shards of metallic paper in my mouth. I never figured out what that was all about. I just dumped it out the window and continued on to the grocery store. Had a great therapy session, then came home to make the noodle-less lasagna (YUM) while my kids ate pizza.

Could I make it to 185 by Monday? I suppose. Will I make it to 150 by this time next year? Damn straight.

Love y'all.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

It's a CHALLENGE, not a race...

Man, today was CLEAN! I love having days like this! And I refused to buy any more ff milk so no protein pudding tonight. It will have to be chocolate lava cake. I hope it turns out good. Sometimes that stuff is really quite nasty.

Anyway, I had to go up to my client site today, so had to bring 1/2 a grocery store with me in my big pink feed bag.

9:30 Oatmeal w/flax oil and maple syrup (no I didn't nuke these)
12:30 pm Big salad w/teriyaki salmon leftover from last night
missed meal 3 (ooops)
KILLER workout - shoulder CRIT followed by BFL cardio (1.86 miles in 20 min ... YEAH! Thank you, new Nikes Air Zoom)
6 pm Myoplex shake
7:30 pm Thai lettuce wraps (grilled chicken, cucumbers, cabbage in butter lettuce)
9 pm chocolate lava cake

I know Tony is hoping I will make it to 185 this week. Unfortunately, I think TOM is on its way so I'm not all that confident. Miracles can happen, though, and if I keep pushing it hard like I have been, I suppose I could get there. And, I was at 187.7 this morning...

And anyway, bottom line is - if I keep up this pace, I WILL achieve my goals. It's not a race - just a challenge.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

So, who asked YOU, anyway?

You know what I hate? I mean, really, really hate? I hate it when I'm at the gym, minding my own business, doing some crazy hard set of something nearly impossible, like Tony's plyometric kick back push ups or whatever the heck they're called, and some DOOFUS decides they can give me advice on how to get better results.

To make matters worse, the doofus in question today, as I was in the middle of my second of four sets of said crazy kickbacks, was at least 50 years old and as wide as he was tall (which was not very tall). He lingered around me, making idle chatter, before finally asking, "Where do you live?"

"Glenside," I puffed.

"Well, could I make a suggestion?" (My husband tells me this is where I should have rudely said "NO, you may not.")

"Sure," I huffed.

"You'd get more out of your workout if you just walked here every day." With that, I stopped, unsure of whether I was more disgusted by his arrogance or his ignorance. I lifted myself up to my full 5'5", taller than him, I might add, and responded:

"I'm running a 1/2 marathon in November. I ran a marathon in 2005. Clearly I need to do more than that and weight training is doing the trick. Thanks."

I know - I was too nice. But my question to you guys is this:

At what point will I be one of the people in the gym that Sta-Puff Marshmallow Men like this obnoxiously ask for free advice from instead of giving obnoxious unsolicited advice???

Sushi Dreams

Oh, how I would love to have sushi... who would have ever thought that one day sushi would feel like a yummy cheat meal? But right now, I'm salivating at the thought.

I'm really struggling today. Between the news from the doctors about Amelia needing serial casting (we are getting a 2nd opinion) and the late night last night and just a general feeling of overwhelm, I'm completely dragging.

I know well enough to know that I need to ride this out. But sometimes it's tough. I just went to another online OA meeting (tomorrow is 30 days).

I'm proud of myself. I'm so, so proud of myself. My quads are burning from yesterday's workout. I'm eating so clean - teriyaki salmon and steamed spinach. Yum Yum.

I'll post again soon. I just like to check in and let everyone know how I'm doing.

Monday, September 8, 2008

When life gives you lemons, you squeeze 'em, add some ACV, and call it a day...

Have you ever had a day where you felt like there was someone, somewhere with a little voodoo doll of you, but instead of sticking pins, they were shoving Kandy Kakes down its little voodoo throat? Well that, my friends, was my day.

It went pretty well until my workout. I had a productive day, the cleaning lady came (which always makes me feel great) and had a stellar plan for getting my girls picked up, off to the gym and then to my middle child's appointment at Children's Hospital to check out her toe-walking situation.

I was about 20 minutes into my workout when I got to Olympic Bar squats. I felt a twinge in my knee that I've had before when I've gone balls to the wall with working out. I didn't give up - I just took all the weight off and finished Tony's workout, but my fire was dimmed a little bit. I did a walk/run to cool down and then went to pick my kids up from day care.

"Mommy, look," said my 4.5 year old who I had about five minutes to get together before we had to get off to her appointment. She had what looked like dirt on her inner thigh. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was poop. She had pooped in her pants and just sat there waiting for me to get her. The woman in the day care didn't even realize! So much for the five minute cushion. I had to scrub to get it off her. It was so bad, not only did I have to throw away her underpants, I had to toss her shorts and her SOCKS, too. Of course I had no extra clothes - she's been potty trained for years - but her brilliant older sister (who's almost 6) suggested I put Amelia in the shorts I made her wear under her skirt. (I like to think she was just being creatively helpful, not trying to get away with wearing a skirt with no shorts underneath.) Well, this was a great idea, except that my older girl is big for her age (about as big as her nearly 10 year old cousin) and Amelia is small for her age (about as big as her 2 year old sister). With the help of a binder clip, we were off.

In the parking lot, who do we run into but daddy? Daddy, who I explained the whole plan to at least three times, but was now looking at me quizzically, saying, "Where are you going? Is the appointment now?" I had about ten minutes less to get to the appointment now than I needed to get there, but I was determined not to lose my patience. After finding out he also had band practice tonight, and not wanting anything to screw up his workout mojo, I offered to take the 2 year old with me so he could workout. (Ding! That's me, getting my wings.)

I don't know if it was a mistake or not. All I know is that TWO AND HALF HOURS LATER, we were still waiting. Thank goodness I had brought my Myoplex with glutamine in the car. But by 8:15, when we finally LEFT the doctor's office, with the thrilling news that my daughter would need serial casting, which would mean WEEKLY visits to this same doctor, I just wanted to cry.

I had promised the girls McDonalds, which I never do. But they were so pitiful. My 2 year old was throwing herself on the floor and putting her head on the ground, then looking up at me, crying, "Go home, Mommy. Let's go home!" My 6 year old, normally patient, was jumping up and down saying " I want to go home! Mommy, that's it. I'm getting the nurse." And she'd head for the door. I did everything I could think of. Played Elmo's guessing game. Read them stories. Sang songs. God bless their little hearts, they were so patient.

Anyway, back to the final moments. I couldn't find McDonald's (thank God) but did find Wawa (which is sort of like 7-11 or store 24, but has tons of healthy stuff). I offered them ice cream sandwiches for snack (I had brought them dinner, which they'd eaten hours before, of course). And for me? I splurged and got a diet coke.

Everyone's in bed now. I've just eaten my meal 4, which was veggie burgers w/ff cheese and green beans. I'll likely have protein pudding in an hour or so and call it a day at 5 meals.

That's the best I can do. (And pretty damn good it is, if I do say so.)

Sorry for the long post, but I really had to get that all in there.

Week 2 Weigh In

188! That's the official weigh in, which is actually down a little from a few days ago. I'll take it! I'm now down an average of 3.8 pounds a week, so I hope the trend continues so I can make Tony's (and my) goal of reaching 185 by next Monday.

Things are really crazy now that my eldest is in Kindergarten and it makes it really hard to find time to get these workouts in. I'm determined, though, and know I can do it.

For instance, today my middle daughter has an appointment about her toe-walking, and so I have to pick her up from day care at 3:15, take her to Wawa to get dinner for her and her older sister, then off to pick up her older sister, then we all head to the gym. I workout from 4 to 5:15 or so, then try to fly up to King of Prussia, which is at least 40 minutes away, for her appointment. The girls will eat dinner on the way, and I will eat when we get home.

Can I tell you I was up at 4 am trying to figure this all out? I still haven't quite worked out where I'm going to get in an hour of cardio on Thursday when I have to take Amelia to ballet at 4:30. Oh, and I have to WORK, too.

Speaking of which, I'd better get back to it.

I'll post again soon!


Sunday, September 7, 2008

Day 13: Way to go, ME!

Just thought I would share with you guys this interesting dialogue between me and Tony tonight. Yay, me:

Me: I'm starving today. Ran 4 miles in 50 minutes then did your workout. Really Tony? 3 sets of abs, 45 reps? What the? I thought I would die! But I did it, and then did the cool down at a 4.5 mph jog. Only 10 min, though because the day care called me back due to a sick kid.

Anyway, a good weekend, but I sure am hungry and not looking forward to watching the rest of the family eat pizza...

Tony: Let me ask you a question. Can one or two slices of pizza be enough for you???

Me: Uh... no. It would not be worth it. The protein pudding at night has helped a lot to keep me from feeling deprived and tonight I thought about what I could eat that would be the yummiest. Real turkey burger not frozen, w/ff cheese. That's what I will have, tons of veggies. Just had to confess my feelings.

Tony: Okay. There will be times in the future when I will want and NEED you to eat some of those cheat foods. Stay focused. The next few weeks will be exciting :)

Me: PS grilled onions and mushrooms too and hubby decided to have what I am having. Though he'll probably have the bun. That's the hardest part of this meal, but I can do this!!

Tony: Good.

Who IS this woman inhabiting my body? How did she get so disciplined? Rah RAH! 185, here I come!!!


Down 3% bodyfat and 1.5 inches (4 inches since I started), and an inch off my waist and an inch off my abs!

My weight is still 188.2, so I'm hopeful that I can meet Tony's goal (and mine) of hitting 185 next Monday (the 15th).

I never thought I would be the type of person to work out twice in one day, but today I did. I ran FOUR miles this morning (in 50 minutes) and then went to the gym with the girls for a killer 1.5 hour workout. (Three sets of 45 crunches? Tony's killing me. KILLING ME!) I definitely have a swagger in my walk though, confident that I'm going to get to 149 pounds, too! (Thanks, Tea, for your inspiring comment on my last post. It really fired me up! Can you tell?

I feel myself crashing. Hubby is enjoying his free day (fortunately keeping his food away from me). I'm trying to figure out what I can have for dinner so I don't feel deprived. I think real turkey burgers (not frozen) might do the trick.

So, to any Divas out there...what do you think Tony meant by this yesterday?

"I will give you some high carb greens lights this week. I will let you know when."

Saturday, September 6, 2008

188.5 and still PUSHING!

Yep, that's right. I saw 188.5 this morning. Of course, I immediately texted Tony to let him know. Do you know what his response was?

"185 goal for next Monday morning. I know you can do it.

In order for us to do this we need complete compliance to the meal plans with NO deviations. However, I will give you some high carb greens lights this week. I will let you know when.

Water must be high and increase some acv :)

Whoa. Now, truthfully, this was my goal for myself, too. And even more truthfully, I want someone to push me to the most I can deliver. That's why I signed up for Dreambodies (and paid 3 months up front). I am committed to this. But whoa. No time to stop and smell the roses, yo. It's just onward and downward.

I made sea bass for dinner tonight. DANG, it was good. No wonder it costs over $20 a pound. DANG DANG DANG.

And how about my first ever boyfriend, first love, first everything found me on Facebook? What the hell is up with that? I cut off all ties over TEN years ago. Haven't been in contact with him throughout my entire marriage. And now here he is, saying he had hoped he'd find me before I got married. I was like, well, I got married 7 years ago and I'm really, really happy, so oh well! I mean, I wish him well and all, but it was NOT a perfect relationship, by any means. It pretty much ended with me in a mental institution and then rehab. Need I say more?

OK, that's all for me. I think I'll hit an online OA meeting, work a bit and go to bed.

Later, y'all.


Friday, September 5, 2008

Ovulation Strikes

Not everyone is as sensitive to their hormones as I am. The up side is that it has resulted in three beautiful children. The downside is that I experience the same symptoms when I'm ovulating that I do when I have my period: weight gain, acne, and CARB CRAVINGS.
Today was clean: started off with a whey protein shake followed by a 45 min run. Then egg whites w/veggies and nine-grain french toast w/ sf syrup. Lunch was a big grilled chicken spinach salad and then hubby and I picked up our 5 year old from kimdergarten and headed to the gym. BABYSITTING WAS CLOSED! We made the best of it - I did my full workout (kicked butt, too) but skipped my warm up and cool down. Don't know if Tony is going to make me make it up, but I hope not. I'm exhausted.
The scale is not moving and I'm craving carbs like mad. I got pizza for the girls (too tired to make two meals) and so wanted to scarf down a piece. But I didn't.
Any words of wisdom, Divas? Help!!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Week 2, Day 11

I went back and read Melissa H's posts from Day 12 and thereabouts, only (I guess) to see if my progress so far is reasonable. I think it is.

I have work to do but I knew I should get on here and post how I'm doing. Still doing ok, I guess. Not craving anything too bad, although casually wondering when I'm going to get a "cheat meal." I'm sort of prepared for not getting one until I've passed the induction period.

I went today and auditioned for a casting agent. My mom thinks I'm crazy, since I barely have enough time to get done what I get paid to do. But the casting agent called me to ask me if I could come in and sing for her, so of course I said yes. :) I love auditioning. I told them I want to come back and do a theatrical audition, but in my head, I was thinking, "Not until November - I want to be well under 180 before I come back with brand new headshots and a cute little outfit and knock their socks off."

So, that's my plan - first week of November. I should be under 170 by then, if I get my way.

OK - I should get some work done. I'm so sleepy. I hope I can get something done.



Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Driven to Tears?

Today's workout was a KILLER. I'm still working with my f2f trainer, Kristen - she's just helping me push myself to my max with Tony's workouts. When I got to the last exercise, the walking push ups on the step, she actually tried to make me do them with my legs straight (my arms were so wobbly, I could barely do them with bent knees). I was yelling at her, telling her I couldn't do it - almost in tears, and she was like, "Just try - come on, just try - you can do it." I don't know if any of his other clients work with a f2f trainer to support his Program - I feel really lucky she's willing to completely support me with following the Dreambodies program and getting the max results out of it. I could never have done the weight I did on these exercises by myself.

I can't believe it, but I feel REALLY stoked about how this is going. I really feel like I’m going to be able to make this a lifestyle. I've never, never, NEVER just felt completely good about my body and I can see it with his program.

That being said, I took measurements and bodyfat, and was surprised at where I saw the biggest changes - I lost a two inches off my shoulders, a half inch off my abs, a half inch off my waist, a half inch off my neck and a half inch off my calves, BUT my hips went up an inch and my thigh went up a half inch. So, that's a total net loss of 2.5 inches, and five pounds.

Whatev, dude - it's going in the right direction. YEAH, baby!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Fuel Matters

I had a crappy workout today. At least, it felt like a crappy workout. I didn't push myself as hard as I have been (it was relatively easy, by Tony's standards - 10 min warmup, several shoulder exercises, followed by 15 min on the treadmill).

Why was it crappy? Because I was low on fuel.

Today was Devon's first day of Kindergarten and it completely threw me off. First, I had to go to the Kindergarten orientation from 9 to 10:30. I didn't eat beforehand, so didn't have my first meal until close to 11. It was a clean and healthy one - egg whites with ff cheese and broccoli and oatmeal w/flax and sf syrup. Then, I had a whey protein shake on my way to pick up Devon, and then thought I would workout, have a Myoplex shake at about 2:30, then have my big salad at about 4:30, then eat dinner at 6:30. Well, the bus was an hour late. So, we didn't get to the gym until 3:15 and didn't get home until 4:30. I had my Myoplex shake and now just have to wait until dinner. I can't wait until dinner. Mmmmm ... meatloaf and zucchini squash... mmm... I may even have my salad, too.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at the fact that low fuel = low energy, but I am surprised at how much I dislike having a subpar workout. I couldn't even hardly RUN!

So, tomorrow is another day. I'm about to break into the 180s and cannot wait. I'm so glad my fire is still burning strong. I will not stop until I hit 150!

Take care, y'all.

Monday, September 1, 2008

I can really do this!

191 this morning and my first weekend is behind me, not to mention the last holiday of the summer. Thank goodness!

I don't know why Tony's program works. I just know that it does. I have been exercising (running) long enough to know that it's always a good idea to make plans to run in the early morning if I want to be accountable. That's what found me at Valley Green at 7 am on Labor Day morning. I ran THREE miles with my friend, and it felt good. No stopping.

Then, I met a friend for breakfast, and ate CLEAN - rye toast, no butter, (not sure if rye toast is allowed, but thought it was a good choice), egg whites with veggies NO cheese, tomato slices. YUM.

Then, off to the gym for legs and cardio - the whole family went. DH decided to jump on the bandwagon and start BFL! Weird, because in my morning prayers, I prayed that God would grace Glen with the willingness to get back in shape so that I would have the support. And lo, and behold, my next conversation with him is that he's started BFL and wants to come with us to the gym. God is GOOD!

Then, I had my Myoplex shake, and packed a yummy spinach and grilled chicken salad to take to the pool, which I had around 3 pm. Finally, ordered pizza for the girls and had a lean turkey burger w/soy cheese and TONS of veggies. Tony said I could make my own protein pudding for a final snack of the night. I'm looking forward to that. I'm a little bit over the chocolate lava cake.

180s, here I come!!!