Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Yoga Pants are for YOGA.

I haven't been an athlete all my life. Truth is, before 2005, I had never run a race longer than a 5K. Of course, by the end of 2005 I had run a marathon, and my life (and I) were changed forever. I have been an avid runner since then, but still am a sort of scrappy, slow learner when it comes to the etiquette and habits that seem to come as second nature to lifelong athletes.

Take apparel, for instance.

Last November, I was the only one of my running group, Moms in Motion, to register in time for the half-marathon. Even if the other ladies had run in time, it wouldn't have helped my apparel confusion. I parked my van and noticed the temperature had still not risen about 20 degrees, though the sun was shining brightly. I had underdressed, thinking back to the last time I'd run that course (the year of the marathon), when the temperature had risen to over 50 degrees by the end of the race and I'd been sweaty and hot, regretting I hadn't worn disposable clothing, like the lifelong runners that had raced that day. On this day, I was regretting I hadn't a single pair of gloves or hat in my glove compartment. How could I have a glove compartment stuffed with everything but gloves?

I knew it was going to be a long, cold run and if I didn't figure something out, I was going to end up with a nasty case of frostbite. I scrounged around the back of my mom-mobile and found a pair of those teeny gloves that stretch to three times their size, and a pink ski cap with a Super S on the front. I felt like a Superwoman for not using the cold as an excuse to turn back around and head for my nice warm bed, so it was an appropriate choice. Yet and still, I was so cold, I was still shaking with chill a half hour after my hot, post-run shower.

You'd think I'd learn about preparedness and the importance of appropriate running gear. Unfortunately not.

I just have to say I'm sorry, very, very sorry, to all the people at the Aquatic & Fitness Center in Jenkintown, PA who had to see me running in yoga pants today. They are probably a little too large and, well, yoga pants just don't have the fitted waistband that's needed when you have a butt like mine, pulling them down, begging for more fabric to surround it. By the time I was done my last 30 second interval today (10 miles per hour, I might add), my still flabby tummy was flapping in the breeze over the edge of my yoga (not running) pants.

I did get to TJ Maxx today to get a couple new pairs of running pants. I'd never want to burn that image on anyone else's retinas again. I look good and all, but six-pack abs I do not yet have. So, nice tight running pants for me from now on.

We'll save the yoga pants for yoga.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Change of plans

Well, today's workout was WAY better than yesterday. I have to admit, I haven't been getting all excited and into Tony's workouts or the food like I was last week. I hope my hormones are going to settle down soon.

Tomorrow is a tricep and shoulder CRIT. I do love my CRITs, I just hope I can rock some serious speed. I have been slow as a lump lately.

I want to share with you guys something really wonderful that happened this week. So, I mentioned a few days ago how devastated I was by the fact that this writing workshop I had been looking forward to for months was cancelled. The poor author who was planning to facilitate had some serious health stuff she has to tend to this weekend. Not only can I not fault her for having to postpone/cancel the workshop, I'm seriously worried for her and saying all the prayers I can say.

That being said, I was absolutely devastated. Did I mention I was devastated? In my mind, I had built this workshop up to be the ultimate turning point, the breakout moment for me as an author. The facilitator would help me with my writing, I would get her all excited about working out and fitness and she and I would be come BFFs and skip off into the sunset together into Bestselling Authorland.

So, when the workshop was cancelled, on some level, at least for a moment, I felt like that dream of mine had been cancelled. For just a moment, I felt like I was being relegated back to the way, way back seat of my father's station wagon, when I had been promised that I'd get to sit in the front! Wahhh...(I'm hearing the voice of Fred in my head. Sorry, I digress.)

Anyhoo, after a little bit of boo hoo-ing, and some warm loving hugs from my very sympathetic husband and children, I ... how shall I put it? GOT OVER IT. And the next morning, I woke up with a fire in my belly about writing, and a keen awareness that the only thing standing in the way of my happy skip off into the sunsets of Bestselling Authorland was my own two hands. If I'd put them to good use, a skipping I would go. I sat down on my couch and got to work on the outline for the novel. And I finished it! And then, later that day, I wrote 2500 words toward the first draft, and made an accountability agreement with a dear friend to write 2000 words every day (except on the weekends, when I will write 500 words a day).

Something has changed. I have read about other authors saying how the characters come to life and the novel pulls at you, begging, even insisting that you write it. It nearly writes itself. This is how it feels! I never thought I would feel that way, but I also never felt like I would be able to relate to runners who say that after a certain point, they feel like they could run forever. HAH! I've felt that, too!

Can I say it? I AM A WRITER! Now on to finishing this draft and getting it into the hands of a publisher, so I can finally realize my destiny of becoming a BESTSELLING AUTHOR!


Off to bed. I need to get up and kick some TonyWorkoutBOOTY!

Later, y'all.


Friday, February 20, 2009

And the walls come tumbling, tumbling...

Soooo tired....

I haven't had a lame-ass workout like I had today in a long, long time. Here's the deal: (sorry, Paula - I know you think I shouldn't pay attention my cycles, but ...) I woke up with a whitehead on my chin, up two pounds on the scale and feeling like I'm falling asleep on my feet. Ovulating. I don't know about the rest of you guys, but whereas some people are lucky enough to have no PMS symptoms each month, and others are lucky (yes I said lucky) enough to have regular PMS symptoms each month, I'm super dee duper lucky enough to get PMS symptoms TWICE a month - once when I'm about to get my period and once when I'm ovulating. Yay, me!

So, I went to the gym and went through the motions. My chest was still aching from yesterday's workout and I did my back crit (I usually love a good CRIT), but today it was all I could do to finish it, let alone push out any considerably speed on those treamill intervals. So, I just went ahead and did it and came back to make my Myoplex shake.

I hadn't been prepared for how hard this boot camp diet was going to be when ovulation hit. It's proving to be pretty damn hard. I don't know if I was imagining it, but I swear it seemed like every time I caught a glimpse of one of the TVs hanging over the treadmills at the gym, it was blasting a different yummy something - pancakes covered in whipped cream and fruit, cake, ice cream sundaes. I'm not even kidding.

I hope I get a cheat after this is all said and done. Maybe I just feel this way today, but I'm dizzy with lack of energy. :(

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Finally ... a break through!!

I was DOWN two pounds today! Woo hoo! 164.2! I'm under 165, FINALLY! I'm less than five pounds away from the 150s as everyone who has been reading know is my BIG GOAL. I was 158 on my wedding day, I haven't been this close to goal since before I got pregnant with my first child 7 years ago!!

I attribute this recent success to a few things:

(1) Continued honest inventory. What am I doing right? What needs work? Am I taking shortcuts? Am I telling Tony what's going on with me?

(2) Making a list of what I can do to ensure my success and then focus on that list


And so guess what? I completely intend to continue to do those three things as I soldier on into new, uncharted territory. Territory I haven't seen since my twenties, if ever. The 140s? What? The 130s? HUH? I'm gonna be not only HOT by the summer, I'm gonna be ready to win some figure competitions!!


In other news, I'm about to launch my life coaching business and website soon. I'm so excited to help others to achieve their goals and to begin to believe that they can achieve anything they set their minds to, if they just want it, believe it, make a plan and follow it, and keep pressing on, NO MATTER WHAT.

Oh, and I will post progress pics soon, I promise!!

Love, Liimu

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My confession...

OK, so I am not even going to lie. I'm going to say this only once.


Today is my second liquid diet day of the week and OMG, this is hard as the poop of a newly weaned baby. OK, only the moms out there will get that one. Or, was that only my baby that pooped pellets for the first two months of being switched to cow's milk?

I just want to eat, eat, eat. Fortunately, tomorrow I get to eat again. This is really hard, though. I talked to Tony and he said, "Doesn't it feel great? Don't you feel lean?" I do feel leaner than I did last week, but I also feel impatient. Like, I want to lose 20 pounds in one week. Silly, right?

In other news, I asked Tony what month I should target for my first competition. I also noticed that if I wait until next May (2010), I'll be at the lower end of the Masters Division. :-)

I guess I'd better print out my workout and get to bed. More tomorrow, everyone.

Love, Lii

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Day 3...seeing some changes

I was able to slide on my size 10 jeans. That's exciting. I'll be glad in a few weeks when they fit comfortably, but I'll take what I can get.

I have to tell you guys, I've faced more than my share of disappointment this week and my stupid head is working on me, telling me that this or that food will make me feel better. I know it's a LIE. Getting to competition size will make me feel better, will make me feel invincible. I'm staying the course. I lost my engagement ring ... so what? I'll have another one some day - hell, maybe I'll even upgrade. So what one of my contracts fell through. I'll have another one of those, too - a bigger one (sense a theme developing?). So what the workshop I've been looking forward to for months was cancelled? I'm still gonna write my novel. I'm gonna begin this weekend, just as I had planned. (And please say prayers for Alisa Valdez-Rodriguez, who is suffering from some health issues that led to the workshop being postponed.)

The Universe, God, Higher Power, whatever you want to call it has the Plan. Not me. And I just have to keep showing up and keep doing the best I can with what I've been given. Which brings us back to Tony's plan.

I ROCKED it today. One plus about the workshop being postponed - it will be much easier to stick to Tony's boot camp. I have to admit that I really am quite hungry. Pretty much all the time. But Tony assured me this hardcore plan is only for 2-3 weeks, and I'm already half way through week 1. And the extra super cool part of it all is that I really do think that when I'm done with this, I will be under 160 pounds. FINALLY.

Take care, y'all. And say prayers that I can stay focused. If things happen in threes, at least I can take comfort in the fact that the three bad things have happened, and now things can start to be good again, right?


Thank you. Right.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Day 2... Hello Hunger!

My old friend...haven't seen you in awhile. How ya been?

Honestly, I haven't been really hungry for any length of time in months. And today? I was pretty much hungry all day. I mean, REALLY hungry. Like, I think I'm gonna be sick hunger. This liquid diet stuff is for the ... REAL WOMEN! It's FUN! I love it!! It's awesome! I feel myself getting thinner by the second!

Anyway, today was fine. I rocked it in the gym:

Leg presses with 410 POUNDS!!

And I stuck to the liquid diet. Who knew an apple could taste so good? I cannot WAIT for breakfast tomorrow. I think I will be eating it at 6:30 am. The most difficult part of the day is here - DINNERTIME.

Pray for me.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Day 1 of Overdrive...DONE!

Wow, wild. I actually made it through Day 1 of Tony's Brutal Boot Camp. Here's how it went down:

7:30 am - woke up, had coffee, apple (starving after last night's carbfest)

8 am - ran 4 miles with friends, felt GREAT

8:30 am - got message from Tony with food plans - wha wha WHAT? liquid diet every other day? Yikes! drank whey protein shake

10 am - 4 page Tony workout - took me an hour and 20 minutes, and still had to cut final cardio to 5 minutes (from 15). Ugh.

12:30 pm - Myoplex shake w/glutamine

1:00 pm - egg whites, plain (sob! sniff!) and oatmeal w/splenda and flax oil (ok and a little bit of sf syrup)

3:30 pm - whey protein shake

6 pm - 4 oz ground turkey w/ff cheddar, onions, mushrooms, steamed asparagus, salad w/tomatoes and lite dressing

7 pm - carb control yogurt w/1/2 t. oatmeal, protein powder, 8 frozen blueberries, diet cocoa (25 cal)

9 pm - Myoplex lite

OK, so not perfect, but WOW...I am proud of myself. Tomorrow's the liquid diet. Good thing I like Myoplex. I'll keep you all posted on my progress. I feel myself in the 150s by the beginning of March.

Did I mention that I've been chasing the 150s since my wedding day 7.5 years ago?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Lookin' pretty good, but a new day is dawning...

So, I'm lookin' pretty hot these days. Tony has worked some serious magic (and I have worked my serious a** off) but I have a long way to go.

I called him this morning, frustrated at seeing 168 this morning, which is pretty much where I have been for the past three months. He called me back this afternoon and we talked for a long time. Here's the basic gist (deep breath....)

We're kicking this thing into overdrive. He authorized a serious cheat meal for tonight (my first authorized cheat since Christmas, which is partly because I've had so dang many UNauthorized cheats) and then he is going to start giving me SERIOUS food plans to follow, for about 3 weeks or so. He even said something about every other day or every third day being a LIQUID DIET. Oh yikes.

But dammit, this is what I WANT. I want to kick my metabolism in gear. I want to shock my body into starting to lose weight, and more than anything, I WANT TO BE IN THE 150s!!! So, I will do whatever it takes to get there.
Watch me shrink, y'all - Oxygen cover, here I come!!!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Staying the course...

I cannot believe I've been dancing around 170 for the past three months. I'm telling you guys, I have been really pushing hard this week, my TOM is over, and I really thought I would finally see the other side of 165. NOT. 167.4, again.

Yesterday, I was going to workout in the morning, and then I realized I hadn't finished the Valentine's for my kids and my two younger daughters had their Valentine's Day parties, where the valentines would be exchanged! And my older daughter has a long weekend (Friday and Monday off) so I had to get them done. I spent the first hour of the day getting them done. No workout in the morning. No worries, I'd pick my oldest daughter up and go to the gym with her. EXCEPT that at 12 noon, my youngest daughter's school called and she was being sent home sick. So much for that plan. I called my husband and told him how important it was for me to get my workout in. I told him I'd be taking the older two to the gym, they'd have dinner there, and he could stay home with the baby (he wasn't planning to workout anyway).

At the gym, I had a leg workout planned. On the way over, I decided I wasn't going to kill myself with those stupid step-up leg lifts. Of course, when I got there, I got in the flow. I used the highest step in the gym (higher than even the flat bench), and did a set of 20 step ups (that's 20 on each side, mind you) with a 12-lb dumbbell, then a set of 15 and a set of 12 with a 15-lb dumbbell, and finally a set of 12 with a 20-lb dumbbell. Plus, I did leg presses, and did my final set of 6 with 360 pounds!!! I was literally shaking on my way home. I got home at 8 pm and had a myoplex shake, then had an apple and a cup of sugar-free cocoa and went to bed.

So, is it any wonder I was disappointed to see no movement on the scale? I WANT TO BE IN THE 140s by this summer. I will, I will, I will. I want to grace the covers of fitness magazines. I want to be an inspiration to everyone who sees me.

That's my vision. I will hold on until I see it. I cleared my Valentines' Day dinner with Tony. Not gonna have a cheat, but I will have a half seafood clay pot, which has jasmine rice. Yummy. I'm not going to have a full on cheat until maybe March.

Later, guys. That's my rambling for today.

Monday, February 9, 2009

When to sweat the small stuff...

So, when should you sweat the small stuff? When the small stuff is keeping you from your goal. In my case, it's a bite of this, a nibble of that. Small missteps that have led to big delays in my achievement of my dreams.

Another sloppy weekend. I have a confession (which I have made privately in life, but I am willing to make here), which is that I am a compulsive overeater. You may have noticed the link to OA down below. That's not an accident. Many of you already know that I have been in recovery from other addictions for nearly 14 years (my anniversary is March 7). I know that I need to develop the same willingness and the same humility around this aspect of my addictedness.

Morning meditations are such a wonderful thing in my life, because they almost always hit exactly whatever it is I am going through. So it was no surprise that one of my meditations was all about how we play with our recovery. It suggested an interesting exercise, which I will share with you. What it suggested was that we list ways we work our Program, and ways we play with it, and then focus on the first list throughout the day. (This can also work with Tony's program, by the way.)

Here's my list of how I work the program:

Call my sponsor
Make a plan
Write down my plan
Follow my plan
Go to a meeting
Practice mindful meditation
Eat consciously
Pray before eating
Work the steps
Avoid people, places and things
Don't take the first compulsive bite NO MATTER WHAT

I printed that out and put it on my fridge, in my purse, in my car and on my wall.

For the morbidly curious, here's my list of the ways I play with my program:

Tell myself, "I'll remember it,,," or "One nibble won't hurt..."
Forget what I eat
Go to a party without being prepared
Futurize (idealize about the future)
Think negatively
Miss meetings
Neglect to call or email my sponsor
Skip steps

This post is all about casting positive thoughts into the Universe about how I intend to make the next phase of this recreation a reality. One of my meditations talked about nothing more than how close I am to realizing my goals. Very, very, very close, it said. Tony has a vision of me being on magazine covers. I LOVE that. I need to become it. I am very close. I will weigh 140 by the end of this year. I will be ripped and toned. I will not let my demons take this dream from me anymore than I would have let them take my family and children - and they would have if I had kept drinking.

These dreams are mine and I fully intend to claim them.

Friday, February 6, 2009

The binge stops HERE.

So, tonight I made the mistake of giving in to a couple of what seemed harmless cravings and here we go again - a little microwave popcorn here, a couple bites of soft pretzel there, a couple pizza crusts leftover from my daughters' dinners.


I am accountable to all you wonderful people. THIS is my plan for the rest of the weekend:

Saturday workout (4 pages of bi/tri/abs, 2 mile run):
Sunday meal plan:
M1 - whey protein shake
M2 - egg whites and oatmeal
M3 - salad from Whole Foods with chicken
M4 - whey protein shake
M5 - grilled sea bass
M6 - apple and tea

Sunday workout - 5 mile run or rest day (if no one is up for running with me)
Sunday meal plan:
M1 - whey protein shake
M2 - egg whites and oatmeal
M3 - Noodle-less lasagna
M4 - whey protein shake
M5 - turkey burger, oven sweet potato fries, green beans
M6 - apple and tea

I WILL come back and report in to you guys. I am going to be in the 150s by March, dammit!!

Do hormones make you slow?

So, I have an interesting question for those of you who are runners.

Do you find it harder to run when that time of the month arrives?

I've been posting about how well my running has been going - ran 3.5 miles in 35 minutes, which is an absolute record for me (my goal is to run the 10 mile Broad Street Run at an average pace of 6 mph the first Sunday in May). I was slowing down mid-month last month, and pushed myself to start running 6.0 mph again towards the end of the month. It was actually getting easy, comfortable to run at that pace! Enter, PMS - I'm now finding it a struggle to run even 5.5 mph. Is it possible that I get slower as a result of PMS?

I know PMS is upon me - I feel the salt and chocolate cravings sliding over me like The Blob. I'm not giving in and tossing the towel - will use the Tony-approved ways to deal with those cravings and will continue to hit it as hard as I can in the gym. I have been pretty much steady at this weight since 11/4/08. I know that's not something to beat myself up about - in past years, I would have easily gained 7-10 pounds over the holidays, and I stayed steady. But the holidays are TOTALLY over and I'm ready to see some movement on the scale. I'm ready to see the 150s! This is significant! The last time I weighed 158 pounds was on my wedding day, before I had ANY children at all. It was my WW goal for the past 8 years. Now I have adjusted my goal to 148, personally, but it still is significant that my next big milestone has so much meaning for me. So, my eyes are ON that prize and I am READY to see the 150s!! WOO HOO!

OK, enough from me. Any thoughts on the hormonal treadmill slump?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Grateful,,,for awareness and abstinence!

So, I am still on fire, still eating 100% clean. I'm so grateful for that.

Yesterday, in therapy I uncovered what I think was the trigger for my messy eating last weekend. When I was making my oatmeal Friday morning, I accidentally used Devon’s syrup (NOT sugar-free) instead of mine. I tried to scoop it all out, but I think the sugar residue really triggered last weekend’s mess. I cannot believe how sensitive I am to refined sugar. Good to know, though - I just have to remain vigilant.

I have been kicking royal booty in the gym - 30-35 minutes of running 5 times a week, in addition to Tony's workouts. Tomorrow’s workout ends with treadmill and stairmaster. I will probably do 30 minutes of treadmill and then the 12 minutes of stepper he's asked me to do. I’ve been DIGGING the extra cardio – yesterday, I did 3.5 miles in 35 minutes! Woo hoo!

Today was INSANE. For Tony's dumbbell step lifts, I chose the highest step in the gym (higher than the flat bench) and did all the sets he asked for. 20 on EACH SIDE, with 12 pounds dumbbells. My face was red, my heart was thumping, sweat was flying everywhere. I was so proud of myself. I have been kicking butt.

I already walk around the gym with my bad-ass music thumping in my ears, don't-mess-with-me look on my face. Yesterday, as I was going for the paper towels to wipe off my sweaty treadmill, I realized that when I am down under 150, no one in that gym is going to be able to DEAL WITH ME. I'm going to be such a Dreambody Diva. You better work.

OK, back to Real Housewives of Atlanta. Talk to y'all later.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Day 2 Update

Let me start by saying, I ROCK.

Today's workout started with a 10 min at run at 5.5 mph. Then, it was on to a chest CRIT, where I did dumbbell presses with THIRTY POUND DUMBBELLS! Yee HA! Sprinkled in there were my cardio bursts, which I did at 6.0 mph for the first minute, then 30 second intervals - 6.5 mph, 7.5 mph, 8.5 mph and 9.5 mph!! I added some cardio onto the end, and ended up running 3.5 miles in 35 minutes!! Wow. I cannot believe I am running a 6.0 mph pace, consistently!

I was down to 170 this morning and I KNOW I will see the 150s soon - maybe even by March 1. My moms running group starts soon and the extra running can only help my situation. :)

I love the fact that I'm starting over with a renewed energy and a stoked fire. I look in the mirror at the gym and imagine myself at the gym in the spring and summer with the same little racerback tanks I see the other fitness mamas wearing. That will be me, with a muscular back, sinewy arms, and sculpted abs. I was even trying to imagine what bottoms I will wear - probably capri leggings and biker shorts.

Bring on the Spring!!!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Week One, Day One (grin grin)

Yep, you heard me right. I'm "starting over." I'm going to reclaim that DAY ONE fire and start from here. My goal? Lose 20 pounds of fat. I have to say, I'm THRILLED that this is my goal. It's attainable, it's reasonable, and it's MINE, yo. (As my six year old would say...she adds "yo" on to the end of every sentence these days.)

Today was an awesome day. I got up and did my meditation and journaling, and made a yummy whey protein smoothie. (Not really sure I want to eat the salad I got for lunch...maybe I'll have another whey protein smoothie this afternoon instead, now that I think of it.) I almost blew off the gym when I found out my hubby was taking the day off work. I went. I went and had a KILLER shoulder workout and I am falling IN LOVE with my shoulders and arms. I cannot wait to see the abs start popping out.

All I could think about while I was working about was how I am going to be ROCKING some halter tops in the summer, ROCKING some cute little shorts, showing off my toned legs, calves, shoulders, and abs. I cannot WAIT! When I hit 150, I am going to be unreal, unSTOPPABLE.

Watch me transform, you guys. Everything that goes in my mouth has to support that vision. That's my new personal commitment.

I will check in again soon.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I want a redo.

I had an idea when I was in the shower this evening, and I have to admit, I'm pretty excited about it.

There have been a bunch of Tony's divas who have come back after a hiatus of sorts and are all on fire with renewed commitment, renewed fire, renewed energy. I WANT THAT. So, I'm going to start over. Tomorrow, I'm going to post starting weight, starting measurements, new goals, new dreambodies, new plan (Tony's plan, of course).

I think I've become a little complacent because I've been comparing myself to where I came from. I need to get my eyes focused on where I'm going - 150. That's the goal. That's where I'm headed, and I'm about to take that 20 DOWN.

Watch me, girls. Diva Liimu is BACK.


I started to title my post "I can't do this." Can you believe that? Who am I, and what have I done with my firecracker self that is all about positive changes? What kind of motivational force am I going to be for the people I coach if I can't even coach myself out of this situation?

I did e-mail Tony, and of course, he did not feel that the cheat meal would solve my problems (though I agree with Tea, that I will be better off when I can get to the point where I can stay clean until I have an authorized balls to the wall cheat meal). But anyway, we're definitely not THERE yet. He said it is all mental for me at this point and he wants me to do the weight loss MP3 twice a day. I think I need to start listening to the podcasts, too.

Fortunately, I have finished up my projects and am heading into at least a month off. This will give me the opportunity to get into a schedule with meditation and working out as much as I want. YAY. I will be under 160 by the end of February. I WILL.

I'll check in more regularly too - like Melissa, I think I need to start posting weekly stats again. Measurements and everything.

Stay tuned.