I started to title my post "I can't do this." Can you believe that? Who am I, and what have I done with my firecracker self that is all about positive changes? What kind of motivational force am I going to be for the people I coach if I can't even coach myself out of this situation?
I did e-mail Tony, and of course, he did not feel that the cheat meal would solve my problems (though I agree with Tea, that I will be better off when I can get to the point where I can stay clean until I have an authorized balls to the wall cheat meal). But anyway, we're definitely not THERE yet. He said it is all mental for me at this point and he wants me to do the weight loss MP3 twice a day. I think I need to start listening to the podcasts, too.
Fortunately, I have finished up my projects and am heading into at least a month off. This will give me the opportunity to get into a schedule with meditation and working out as much as I want. YAY. I will be under 160 by the end of February. I WILL.
I'll check in more regularly too - like Melissa, I think I need to start posting weekly stats again. Measurements and everything.