Saturday, October 31, 2009

Progress, not perfection...

So, it's Halloween. It's Halloween, and I took the girls to the movies (and to Burger King, I think for the first time in their lives.)

I have to admit that I had my first deviation from the elimination detox diet. Halloween is the first day of the hardest time of year, from a diet perspective, at least as far as I'm concerned. From Halloween through New Year's, it is basically a free-for-all. Magazines, television, everyone's mindset is about partying, eating, drinking, doing whatever. While we were trick or treating tonight, every other person who answered the door had a mouthful of chocolate.

I honestly feel like it's a big money-making machine. Ply people with temptation, images, messages that you can eat whatever you want, that it's allowed, that it's even expected that you would eat a dozen 100 calorie chocolate snacks while you're answering the door for trick or treaters. Then, when January comes around, the Weight Loss Industry goes berserk with advertising to make their money off the thousands, maybe millions, of people who can't fit their clothes and don't know how they could have possibly gained 5, 10, 15, 20 pounds or more between Halloween and New Years and now how are they gonna get it off before the weather warms up and it's time to start showing some skin?

Not me, man. Even though I deviated from the script tonight, even though I had some popcorn at the movies and had some gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free brownies and cookies, I'm really confident I will get through this holiday season not only not having gained weight, but even having lost a few pounds. I'm determined to be under 160 by the 1st of the year.

Halloween is one day. Thanksgiving is one day. Christmas is one day.

There is absolutely no reason to eat myself sick this entire holiday season. There are tons of other ways to enjoy the season (including wearing fabulous holiday clothes!) than by eating rich, calorie-laden food. I'll be checking in periodically to let you guys know how it's going. I know it will go well.
Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Down... but not out.

So, I have been down with a fever the past couple of days, but definitely not out! I'm down a few pounds already and I'm not even a full week past my TOM. I will definitely be under 160 in time for Thanksgiving. YAY!

The showcase went really well. It was so unbelievable to be singing songs that I wrote, and to have people come up to me between sets and say, "Where can I download that song? I could so relate to the lyrics! I want to play that in my car!" At the end of the night, I actually did a call and response, teaching them the song and everyone was singing it!!

( producer asked me to take the video down...check me out on Facebook...I'll be posting some there soon.)

Oh! And despite the fact that I didn't get to bed till way after midnight, I did get up on Sunday and ran my 10 miles as part of my half-marathon training! Maybe that's why I got sick...but whatever...Anyway, I'll be glad to be 100% so I can get back on my half-marathon and Tony training tomorrow!

Have a great day, all!

Friday, October 23, 2009

The day has come...

Tomorrow's my big showcase! Those of you who are connected with me on Facebook know what I'm talking about (and those of you who don't...hit me up!). And for those of you who aren't on Facebook, well, I'll break it down for you now.

Back in April, my business was painfully slow and I was looking for ways to fill my time. I saw the status of a friend of mine's husband said, "Looking for female vocalists..." So, I started chatting with him, only to find out he's a producer, actually produced Patti Labelle in her movie last year, "Cover." He and I started talking and working together and somewhere along the way we decided (a) he would be my producer/mentor and (b) he would help me launch my career as a solo artist.

He started pushing me to get back into songwriting, which I hadn't been doing for about 20 years. Like a muscle, it gets weak from lack of use. I did my first showcase with Tony on August 1, and was barely able to eke out one decent original song. The good news is, HE LOVED IT! That gave me the confidence to start writing more songs, and I put together a band - with a drummer and bass player I had worked with before, a keyboard player my producer recommended, and my husband on guitar! I started writing songs in the car, in the bathtub, in my office, while I was taking my daughters to school, any time, any place. What I learned was that the other way in which songwriting is like a muscle is that it can be strengthened!

I have my showcase tomorrow, the one in which I am the featured act. I have FOUR original songs (well, five, if you include our intro song, "Be You.") to perform and I love them all! I don't know how much of that is because they're mine (sort of like the way we all think our own children are the most beautiful kids on the planet). I do have to say, however, that my husband has been listening to them over and over again with headphones, and he really only does that when he really likes a song. So, maybe they really are good?

Anyhoo - after tomorrow's showcase, we'll know for sure because we are bound to get lots of good and constructive feedback. Then, it's into the recording studio to record the CD! I'll let you know when we have samples to preview (and iTunes downloads to purchase!).

I didn't really write much tonight about weight loss and fitness stuff. I guess that's because that's not really what's on my mind. Everything is actually going well in that area. I had a frustrating night, where it felt like one by one, all my closest friends were letting me know in one way or another that they had to bag out and not come tomorrow night. The stress was really making me crazy. I wanted to eat. But I didn't, and I'm proud of that fact. Tomorrow, Hubby and I have to go to a funeral in the morning. I'm very hopeful that I can somehow get a workout in at some point tomorrow. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Stay tuned, everyone. More exciting news coming soon!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

TOM finally arrived!

Maybe now I'll see a drop in the I long to be in the 150s!!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

So confused... so many things. Things like:

1. Why is my skin worse after a week of detox? No gluten, no dairy, no soy, no chocolate, no sugar of any kind, no caffeine, no citrus, no shellfish, no mushrooms? (Okay - I know...I gets worse before it gets better, the toxins are being released through the skin, etc., etc...)

2. Where in the hell is my Aunt Flow? I'm not even sure I have reason to be worried other than the fact that I've been running about a 24 day cycle and I'm now on day 31. I'm sure it'll be here any day now. No question. I don't feel preggers...

3. Is anyone going to come to my showcase? I am so worried that on Saturday, we'll be all ready to perform these 5 new original tunes (that's right...original in I WROTE THEM), and no one will show up. Crickets chirping...tumbleweeds rolling right through the living room of my producer's loft. What would my dream be? My dream would be that not only would we be performing to a PACKED house, but there would be at least five potential sponsors there, all of whom want to know only one thing at the end of the much do we need to get the CD done?

4. Why am I still awake? Nuff said. I'm going to bed. Thanks for letting me air all this stuff here. Talk to you guys soon!

Love, Liimu

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I'm doin' it!! I'm eliminating!!!

And it's not as hard as I thought it would be. I'm really enjoying it actually! Okay, I don't yet have a "perfect" day under my belt (I realized at around 3 pm today that my beloved almond milk is full of sugar). But I have a house stocked with foods I can eat and I am really enjoying the foods I can eat! Oh, and did I mention that I manifested my secret wish to have a personal chef and hired someone to cook a month's worth of lunch and dinners? And they are SOOOO yummy!

My skin is slightly worse but thanks to the power of Google, I have reassured myself that this is simply a symptom of the toxins working their way out of my body. Yay! And I still have over a week before my show - I'm sure my skin will be clear and beautiful by next Saturday. I'm envisioning myself under 160 by then, somehow.

I'm still closely in touch with Tony. He has something up his sleeve for me, I can tell. He wants me to weigh in on Saturday and then start some intense kick-butt program, not to weigh in again until Halloween. He is determined to get me down to 130. I cannot imagine getting down that low without cutting off one of my larger limbs, but that's neither here nor there. Tony has done more with less determined people than I. If he says it can be done, it will be done.

Last night, I didn't get home from rehearsal until after midnight. I'm going to bed early. Take care, and stay focused! The only thing keeping you from your dreams is your ability to hold on to them and never let go.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Here it comes...I can feel it.

OMG - can I just say, "THANK GOD FOR BLOGGER AUTOSAVE?" I just went and tried to add an image to this blog post and almost lost the whole damn thing. Not a good thing to have happen to a sickly, hormonal chick who spent the entire day with her kids and no support from hubby at all.

Is there anyone besides me who can feel their hormones changing as that time of the month draws near? I think that's what's going on, although I have to say that I also feel a chill settling in and my eyes are burning, which is making me think maybe I'm getting sick. And I am one of those people who just cannot afford to get sick. Ever. Or, at least that's how I feel. I have so much to do this week - work (I already lost one day because my middle child had to have oral surgery), workouts (already missed a workout), soliciting sponsorship, rehearsing songs for my show this weekend, my sister's show on Friday and our showcase next Saturday. Maybe I should just go to sleep now.

Anyway, I really did have a wonderful weekend. It was great to see all my family and I didn't even stuff my face (although my family made it a point to say how amazing the birthday cake was that we got for my mom...grr...almost broke my abstinence from sugar for that one). I have been sort of sloppy, eating-wise, since I got home, though I think it's partly because I'm hormonal (period due within the week) and partly because I'm getting sick and partly because I'm starting an elimination detox tomorrow that lasts a month and I'm scared sh**less and feel like I'd better get it all in now, I may never have it again. Stupid, I know.
Like I said, I need to just hit the hay. I am so tired and definitely feel like I'm running a fever. Unfortunately, I don't have the kind of life where I can just be sick for a day. I have to just suck it up and do what I have to do. :(

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The long and winding road...

I'm traveling this week. That's where I have been. What's good about this? I can stay up as late as I want and sleep in as late as I want. The bad news? They don't have a lot of healthy foods in this part of North Carolina, and no one else really eats like me - in fact, they drink, they consume sugar, they consume dairy. I have some support, but I feel like a HUGE BUFFALO compared to the rest of my family. I don't know why, I just do. honor of the fact that I am NOT a huge buffalo, I am going to share with you one of my recent publicity photos. I AM FAR FROM A BUFFALO!

And.... I deserve to take good care of myself, starting with closing the kitchen tonight (I had lasagna for dinner which wasn't the plan, but it was made with whole wheat pasta, ff cheese and turkey sausage, so that was good, and I had a cup only of Go Lean crunch cereal with soy milk). And I will get up and run in the morning - a good 3-4 mile run. Saturday, I want to get in my 7 mile run before everyone gets up.

Tomorrow is mom's actual birthday. I hope we can make it really special for her. She's certainly making it special for us! Love you, momma!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Feeling better

Hi, everyone,

Okay, so it's only 11:46 am on Day 1 of my Restart, but I am feeling much better. A dear friend broke it DOWN for me, that if I was gonna keep playing around with sugar in ANY form, I would keep feeling like I'm swimming upstream. So, I've become willing to eliminate sugar in ALL forms, except for stevia and brown rice syrup. The interesting thing is I'm no longer doing it for my skin, to lose weight, or to please anyone. I'm doing it because sugar, in any form, makes me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually INSANE. Just for today, I would like to have peace of mind, thank you very much.

It helps, too, that Hubby has decided to start Dreambodies, and he started today. He took his workout clothes with him and is going to the gym right from work, he packed all his food, and he even kicked back his very first ACV concoction. I sure consider myself lucky to actually like the taste in water.

Otherwise, I have my 3-year old home with me today. She seems perfectly fine, but she was running a fever yesterday and I don't like to take chances. She'll be going down for a nap soon, and I SO wish I could go right down with her. I have a client meeting, though, so no luck, unless by some stroke of luck my client should cancel. I've really gotta get refocused at work, too, because I haven't had much to do for work lately, and that has suited me just fine. I do very much like the income, though, so I can't become too much of a lady of leisure!

Anyway, I'm feeling much better today - more optimistic and hopeful. Thanks for all the shouts to let me know I'm not out here alone dreading the upcoming three-month food abyss....Halloween through Christmas... (I don't really feel like it lasts till Easter because in January there's the mad wave of New Year's resolution makers, all the weight loss companies are advertising like crazy and other than Valentine's Day, which is totally a minor holiday, there really isn't anything going on UNTIL Easter, which is four months in. AND, the weather's getting warm by then, anyway, so running season is well underway.)

OK enough for now...more tomorrow!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Where the hell is everyone?

Sorry for the profanity, but I am really frustrated with the lack of blog posts. Where is everyone? Where is the experience, strength and hope from you guys that I have come to rely on? Where is the humor? Where are the uplifting success stories?

I, for one, am still struggling. I have 25 pounds to lose and I want to get on it. I will be damned if I am going to be unprepared as we head into the toughest part of the year - the part of the year when we are SURROUNDED by trigger foods and swaddled in sweaters. I am going to get in a groove, a healthy groove.

I know what you may be thinking. I'm sick of hearing myself say it, too. But I know I can get myself back on track. I know I can go into 2010 lighter than I have ever been. I KNOW IT.