I had the most wonderful, amazing, and awe-inspiring experience over the last day or so. Last night, I was still struggling. Hubby had to work late again (don't get me wrong...in this economy, I'm glad he's got plenty of work) and it's tough with food when I'm alone with the kids. I don't police their food (I just try to monitor enough to ensure healthy balance and moderation) but so in any given night, they may be eating oven fries, macaroni and cheese, pizza, you name it. Plus, since they are toddlers, it is HIGH energy, HIGH chaos. (We're a loud, boisterous family - don't tell me you're surprised.)
Anyway, last night, I took the girls to the playground and they had lunchables, I had rice cakes. Then, when we got home, they weren't hungry - just wanted to watch a movie and have popcorn. So, we did. Yep, you heard me right. I had rice cakes and popcorn for dinner. By bedtime, my diseased little mind was telling me, why bother to try to salvage the night - might as well have a bowl of cereal with banana. Well, what I did instead was to PRAY. I prayed in the bathroom, I prayed while they brushed their teeth, I prayed with them before they fell off to sleep and then I prayed some more. Then, I had a Myoplex Lite and went to bed. And before I fell asleep, I prayed again - that I would be awakened with a renewed willingness. That these crazy thoughts would be removed from my head and I would once again have the fire and the focus to eat clean.
Lo, and behold, today I have the willingness. Today's food has been squeaky clean and I've been willing to write down and be accountable for every bite. And you know what I intend to do?
PRAY SOME MORE.