Saturday, January 24, 2009

I guess I still don't get it...

I cannot seem to admit my powerlessness over food and stay stopped with compulsive overeating. Tonight, I went out to dinner, and I decided before we even got to the table that I was having bread (not on my food plan). I had three, count them – 1, 2, 3 – rolls WITH butter during dinner and I really enjoyed them. I had a bowl of cereal when I got home. Trouble is, I’m a little scared. I know I’m not like other people. I know I can’t eat whatever I want and not get crazy. I feel so frustrated that I cannot or will not surrender to my powerlessness over food and compulsive overeating.

I will commit a plan for tomorrow – I know that’s a good idea. I also commit to meditating tonight and praying/meditating tomorrow. I also commit to an online meeting tomorrow.

60 minutes of walking

Egg whites with grilled vegetables and soy cheese, oatmeal w/blueberries and flax

Myoplex shake

Squash soup, veggie burger w/soy cheese (no bread), one svg rice cakes

Whey protein shake

Turkey burger on one piece light wheat bread, grilled mushroom and onions, soy cheese, oven fried sweet potato fries, mixed greens

Apple, tea


Health Girl said...

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

Just keep staying accountable. Don't forget its not just mental. There is a physiological change that happens when you ingest sugar (any food) but refined sugars have a very drug-like effect. I know that my will power cannot overcome my addiction to refined foods- at least for now. So I must avoid or expect to fall. I know this struggle. Hang in there


Danielle (Bella) said...

All I can say is that I 100% understand and have been there so many times! And know there is danger in being back there at any meal. I think the learning is in making TODAY better than ever, because we can't do anything about what happened yesterday. Keep pushing, and keep remembering whatyou want! You can get there!

Melissa H said...

Lii, you know that I understand and go through/have gone through the same battles with food. In fact, dh is sitting next to me right now eating pizza. PIZZA!!! Kill me!

But, the thing that has changed for me this time around is that I found the reason why I want to do this. It goes beyond wanting a flat stomach, fitting into a size 4 jeans or a bikini. It even goes beyond wanting to run the Disney marathon. What happens when I get there? When I achieve all those things? Then what? For me, it was the goal of becoming a personal trainer. I want to walk the walk.
What is that goal for you? What will stop you in your tracks and make you choose your goal over the rolls with butter?

Dig deep. It goes beyond the food. Listen to the podcasts. You can do this.