Sunday, April 14, 2019

Today is day 7 in Rome, day 5 of my blog. I’m not even posting these things publicly yet, but I already feel things shifting.
I accept myself on a whole new level now. I know I’m in the worst shape I’ve been in, maybe in my entire life, certainly since the last time I lived in LA briefly in the early nineties when I was at least 40-50 pounds overweight, smoked and got high on the regular. I’m actually way healthier than that time in my life, but I’m definitely not in good shape. I’m inflexible (for which yoga would be a great solution), soft (hence, beginning weight training under Tony D’s tutelage), and waaaaay overweight, puffy even. It will be no surprise when Dr. Murphy tells me I have to give up dairy and gluten and probably a whole host of other inflammatory foods. Maybe she’ll even give me some supplements that will help ramp up the process.
This morning, during empty presence, I went deep, even though I only sat in empty presence for half the time. I literally felt like I was accessing a grid where centuries old souls were communing. I heard the same message from a couple months ago – heal yourself, and I will heal her. And I knew, just knew, that everything was happening right on schedule. I also received a message that I should tell my new friend, Manuel, our salesclerk at Louis Vuitton, about our web series. I don’t know why, or if it will make any difference, but I told him all the same.
Manuel and all the other sales clerks went sort of bonkers for Max while we were here. It was sort of funny, except that I’m not really sure how Max felt with all the attention. We had such a lovely time here, and even though Glen and I weren’t able to do all the things we did the last time we were here, I think we are even more connected, both as a couple and as a family, than before we came. 
Amelia vlogged every day. We shopped, we ate, we saw the Trevi Fountain, the Pantheon, the Coloseum, the Imperial Forum, Pompeii, Vesuvius and Naples. It was really an unbelievably memorable trip. 
The food was good, sure. Gelato yeah, yum. Pizza, yup. Bruschetta and pasta and cannoli. It was all good. But I am so focused, so ready, so EAGER to get started with Tony and Nanilea and Dr. Murphy – my dream team – and to see the weight fly off once and for all. I’m ready to enter my 50s stronger, fiercer, more focused and more stunning than I ever have been before. 
I remember in 1990 when I first moved to California after my dad died, I was overweight, run down, exhausted and depleted. I was ready to stop getting high every day, ready to get my life back together. I decided I would start by losing 30 pounds. There was a cute guy at my job who had his eye on me, and I told him that I planned to lose 30 pounds. His response: “You’re stunning now, but if you lose thirty pounds, you’ll be unstoppable.”
Next stop: Unstoppable.

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