Boy, I wish I could remember how difficult it was for me to go to parties and such when I was newly sober. I was so vigilant, so on my guard. I made sure if I had to go, I prepared myself before and after and preferably took someone with me who was also in recovery.
So, why do I think it's any different when I'm trying to clean up my eating? It's NOT. I went to a Cinco de Mayo party and I should have just followed my first instinct, which was to just not eat anything there. I'm better off just eating what I've planned and what I have in my house. I had done okay up till that point, even made my special grilled flounder for lunch so I wasn't starving. What screwed me up was when I got a plate for my daughter and it was right in my face - the bowtie pasta, the yellow rice, the corn muffin. Ah, lovely carbs ... my old frenemy.
Before I knew what was happening, I was shoveling rice/corn muffin crumbs into my face. Then, I had my own corn muffin. Then, I had a dozen tortilla chips with a tablespoon of guacamole. Then, my mind was racing...I could go to Whole Foods and get a big vegan brownie (I'm running 10 miles tomorrow, after all...)... I could have a bowl of cereal with chocolate soy milk (did I mention I'm running 10 miles tomorrow?) ...maybe I should have some spaghetti (since I am, after all...well, you know the rest.).
I am SO proud of myself for what happened next. I picked up my Blackberry and sent an e-mail to my OA sponsor, letting her know exactly what was going on. And then, I made myself a cup of tea and sent my sister the recipe for chocolate lava cake, like I promised her I would. Then, I put my kids to bed and had a protein shake.
Tomorrow, I will run 10 miles. I will have the same pre-race breakfast I have had before every distance run, including the marathon (a toasted cinnamon-raisin bagel with peanut butter) and will make myself a hearty, but fairly clean breakfast afterward. Then, a couple hours later, I will have a protein shake, then a couple hours after that, a clean dinner.
And that, my friends, is how you run ten miles, Tony-style.