First, I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who continue to believe in me, even when I'm not even sure I believe in myself. Melissa, Evelyne, Tea, Tony, April, Tina, Jacquie, Stacy, Chrissy, Claudia...the list goes on and on. Sorry I haven't linked to everyone's blogs and sorry if I missed calling anyone out by name. I'm tired and slipping rapidly into one of those Sunday night carb comas we're probably all familiar with.
I'm not sure what happened this weekend, but I can honestly say I'm not proud of it. I was holding on for when my husband starts up with Tony, thinking that I could just sort of ride his coattails. He now has a popped hamstring and is delayed yet another week. I'm trying to be supportive, loving and understanding of how much pain he's in, but there's also a part of me that is like, DAMN...now what? He will have another week of eating whatever and not going to the gym and I have to just suck it up and get back on the horse, with or without him.
First, I cannot afford to go days and days eating like this. Not many people are like me - but I do know this about myself - I can easily gain 10 pounds in one week, if I'm not careful. Second, I have THREE MONTHS to get this last 25 pounds off. I do NOT want to go into 2010 still struggling with this last 25-30 pounds. I want to have different goals, for once. Third, I'm truly sick and tired of hearing MYSELF say that this is it, this is when I refocus for good.
So, God willing, this will be the last time I have to say it. God willing, I will actually be graced this time with the sustainable strength and fortitude to really change my habits once and for all. I want to be a healthy person. I want to eat when I'm hungry and I want to eat food that nourishes my body, not food that I'm hoping will fill some sort of void.
I'll be posting much more regularly, letting you guys know how I'm doing, that I'm hitting the hard workouts, getting in my water, keeping my food squeaky clean. I can't wait to report that I finally broke through that barrier I've been waiting to break through and am in the 150s!
I'll check in soon.