Sunday, September 20, 2009

Seriously, this time...

First, I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who continue to believe in me, even when I'm not even sure I believe in myself. Melissa, Evelyne, Tea, Tony, April, Tina, Jacquie, Stacy, Chrissy, Claudia...the list goes on and on. Sorry I haven't linked to everyone's blogs and sorry if I missed calling anyone out by name. I'm tired and slipping rapidly into one of those Sunday night carb comas we're probably all familiar with.

I'm not sure what happened this weekend, but I can honestly say I'm not proud of it. I was holding on for when my husband starts up with Tony, thinking that I could just sort of ride his coattails. He now has a popped hamstring and is delayed yet another week. I'm trying to be supportive, loving and understanding of how much pain he's in, but there's also a part of me that is like, DAMN...now what? He will have another week of eating whatever and not going to the gym and I have to just suck it up and get back on the horse, with or without him.

First, I cannot afford to go days and days eating like this. Not many people are like me - but I do know this about myself - I can easily gain 10 pounds in one week, if I'm not careful. Second, I have THREE MONTHS to get this last 25 pounds off. I do NOT want to go into 2010 still struggling with this last 25-30 pounds. I want to have different goals, for once. Third, I'm truly sick and tired of hearing MYSELF say that this is it, this is when I refocus for good.

So, God willing, this will be the last time I have to say it. God willing, I will actually be graced this time with the sustainable strength and fortitude to really change my habits once and for all. I want to be a healthy person. I want to eat when I'm hungry and I want to eat food that nourishes my body, not food that I'm hoping will fill some sort of void.

I'll be posting much more regularly, letting you guys know how I'm doing, that I'm hitting the hard workouts, getting in my water, keeping my food squeaky clean. I can't wait to report that I finally broke through that barrier I've been waiting to break through and am in the 150s!

I'll check in soon.

5 comments:

Dawn said...

Glad to hear that you are back on track. I will be with you..going to the gym first thing in the morning and I also need to get this weight off before the new year. 30lbs to go by Jan. 1.

We can do this together.

Tearose said...

Hi Liimu!

Believe me I have been there. Try this. Just concentrate on right now, the next meal, todays workout, even is you just go for a walk. Just keep going like that till you get to bedtime then visualize how you want tomorrow to go, then get up and just do the next thing. I get really overwhelmed when I even think about the week ahead, it has helped me to just focus on the next meal, getting a workout in, even if I don't want to workout at all I say I will do 1 set if I still hate it I will stop(I have only stopped once)Sometimes the whole idea of getting up the momentum and starting again is just too much. I hope this helps! *hugs*

Ann said...

Here's to a great first week back!!! Congrats on the re-focus!!!!!!! I am in the same boat!

Tina said...

Liimu Hugs girl...the thing is I started with Tony 2 years ago on Sept 23... I think I was 154 lbs...and by Christmas I was 128 lbs.... you can do this... it can happen...

There's a couple of things that HAVE to happen... first of all the plan (you've got the best :) ) Second, the planning... you have to be set up for success... have a day of the week where you food prep maybe, even cook and container up foods... workouts and clothes set out the day before, water bottles prepared every night. You have to feel the fitness goddess that you now are becoming... you need an accountability plan like pictures and who are you going to shout out to for help when you are on the edge, no matter what. I think spending a lot of time really working on feeling the person you want to be, taking action like the person you want to be, speaking like the person you want to be....I could go on and on and on...

I think you know how to get there, figure out the things that are tripping you up, and find action plans and steps to overcome them.

And you've got Tony and all of us behind you... want this for you... do this for you... even if each day you do just one thing that brings you closer to your goals... you will be that much closer.

Sorry I wasn't able to chat more on fb... the dang thing kept popping me off and on... annoying.

Keep us posted :) Yes we believe in you :)

Melissa H said...

Gurrrrrrl. This sh*t is hard. If it wasn't, everyone would be walking around with a 6-pack and a 25 inch waist.

The point is that you get UP each time you fall. Focus on that. You haven't failed unless you have stopped trying. Keep going. We can do this!!

xxoo