I'm so proud of myself today and you know why? Because I didn't work out this morning. WHAAAAT? you say. Yes, you heard me right. I didn't work out this morning.
I was tired, dragging, felt bloated and lost. And my sister texted me and said just go - you'll feel so much better when you get there. And I had this past 7 months under my belt to be able to say, "You know what? That's not historically been the case. In the past, when I've felt this way, I've gotten there and dragged on the treadmill for 5 or 10 minutes before finally giving up and going home, anyway. I'll go later on." And I could sense the worry coming through the phone, that she worried I wouldn't go, that I'd procrastinate and do something else.
But I know me. And I know that all I needed was the chance to rest a bit and spend some time doing what I wanted to do, not what I felt I should do. And I had a KILLER workout as a result. I pushed it so hard, my heart was beating out of my chest and sweat was flying off me in all directions. I'm so glad I waited.
Sometimes it's better to follow your gut than it is to push through the pain.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Another amazing achievement!
So, today I undertook a huge project - going through my closet and the closets of my three daughters to make sure all the clothes that were out of season (e.g., fall/winter), too small, too worn or just corny were taken out. I also spent $250 at Ross supplementing our wardrobes, as needed.
Some amazing things happened. First, I confirmed that I am a size 10. I'm a size 10 in a Calvin Klein suit and a medium to a small in shirts. Wild. I've never been a small in my life. Now here's the kicker.
I get home and ask my 6.5 year old to go through the clothes in her 7/8 summer clothes bag and try on the bigger things to see if they fit or if they just look bigger than they are (she's a size 10/12). She pulled out of the bag a dress I hadn't seen since before I met my husband. I think I was 25 or 26 when I last fit it and the reason it was in with her 7/8 summer clothes is because it's a size 7/8!! Amazingly, it fit her, was just a little bit big for her. I couldn't resist the temptation to try it on myself.
Before it was even zipped, I could tell that it had shrank. It barely covered my butt. But the amazing thing is? It still zipped up!! Could not believe it. I can actually see myself getting into size 8 and size 6 clothes (though that's where I think it will end for me, folks).
This is such a wild and amazing journey!!!
Some amazing things happened. First, I confirmed that I am a size 10. I'm a size 10 in a Calvin Klein suit and a medium to a small in shirts. Wild. I've never been a small in my life. Now here's the kicker.
I get home and ask my 6.5 year old to go through the clothes in her 7/8 summer clothes bag and try on the bigger things to see if they fit or if they just look bigger than they are (she's a size 10/12). She pulled out of the bag a dress I hadn't seen since before I met my husband. I think I was 25 or 26 when I last fit it and the reason it was in with her 7/8 summer clothes is because it's a size 7/8!! Amazingly, it fit her, was just a little bit big for her. I couldn't resist the temptation to try it on myself.
Before it was even zipped, I could tell that it had shrank. It barely covered my butt. But the amazing thing is? It still zipped up!! Could not believe it. I can actually see myself getting into size 8 and size 6 clothes (though that's where I think it will end for me, folks).
This is such a wild and amazing journey!!!
Day 4, Recommitment
OK, I just have to wax poetic for a minute on some thoughts Melissa got going in me today thanks to her wonderful blog post.
I fully intend to be the regular mom who got fit and fabulous and have people saying about me what Paula said in response to Melissa's post about how being fit should be a state of mind, not a white-knuckle approach to life until you can finally relax and eat like you want to. Paula said, about Tosca Reno's podcast on the subject of how she eats that it's her job to look like that, so she has added incentive. Well, when I get fit, I will be "just a mom" for a minute, but I fully expect that at the same time, so many of my dreams will be unlocked and unleashed and then people will be saying about me, "Yeah - but look at her, she's a famous inspirational singer and she has a team of people cooking for her, training her, it's her JOB to look like that." But YOU ALL will know that it didn't start out that way. (wink!)
I am so completely with Melissa on this topic, it's amazing. I have a 10-mile race this weekend, and I fully intend to eat the same breakfast beforehand that I have had before every distance run (cinnamon-raisin bagel with natural peanut butter) and enjoy a healthy, hearty breakfast after, more for the good calories and fuel for the race as for the "I deserve it" factor. What I do, in fact, deserve is to have a beautiful body and tons of energy, which I do. I also deserve to have beautiful clothes to drape on this beautiful body, which I don't. I deprive myself of clothes that actually fit me, waiting to reach this size or that. Well today, I went into the store and bought a beautiful size 10 Jones New York suit. I deserve to have clothes that are made well and look like it. So, I will be donating a bunch of clothes to charity today that I do NOT wear and will be putting a bunch of clothes up in the attic that are too big and I will have a closet full of clothes that FIT! I love feeding my body healthy food. I love eating when I'm hungry. And I LOVE being fit and fabulous!
I fully intend to be the regular mom who got fit and fabulous and have people saying about me what Paula said in response to Melissa's post about how being fit should be a state of mind, not a white-knuckle approach to life until you can finally relax and eat like you want to. Paula said, about Tosca Reno's podcast on the subject of how she eats that it's her job to look like that, so she has added incentive. Well, when I get fit, I will be "just a mom" for a minute, but I fully expect that at the same time, so many of my dreams will be unlocked and unleashed and then people will be saying about me, "Yeah - but look at her, she's a famous inspirational singer and she has a team of people cooking for her, training her, it's her JOB to look like that." But YOU ALL will know that it didn't start out that way. (wink!)
I am so completely with Melissa on this topic, it's amazing. I have a 10-mile race this weekend, and I fully intend to eat the same breakfast beforehand that I have had before every distance run (cinnamon-raisin bagel with natural peanut butter) and enjoy a healthy, hearty breakfast after, more for the good calories and fuel for the race as for the "I deserve it" factor. What I do, in fact, deserve is to have a beautiful body and tons of energy, which I do. I also deserve to have beautiful clothes to drape on this beautiful body, which I don't. I deprive myself of clothes that actually fit me, waiting to reach this size or that. Well today, I went into the store and bought a beautiful size 10 Jones New York suit. I deserve to have clothes that are made well and look like it. So, I will be donating a bunch of clothes to charity today that I do NOT wear and will be putting a bunch of clothes up in the attic that are too big and I will have a closet full of clothes that FIT! I love feeding my body healthy food. I love eating when I'm hungry. And I LOVE being fit and fabulous!
Day 3, Recommitment
Hey, everyone,
First, thank you so much to all you guys for reading and offering your words of encouragement, support and advice. I really do appreciate it! Second, I want to assure you that I am sticking very close to Tony and my OA sponsor to ensure that I'm not slipping back into a scenario where I'm calling the shots, which is not a healthy situation, nor is it one that leads to success.
So, today life happened - I made a stupid decision to have Vitamin Water while I was sitting in 90 degree heat at my daughter's soccer practice. I didn't want to bring ACV water because I'd already had 3 liters and they don't have port-a-potties. But I should have known that with that heat I would be HOT. So, I'll know next time just to get plain old water. What a waste of calories!
Also, for those who don't know me - I am a RUNNER! I ran the Philadelphia Marathon back in 2005 and ever since, I have run two races every year - the Broad Street 10-Mile Run in May and the Philadelphia Distance Run or the Philadelphia Half Marathon in the Fall (13.1 miles). This keeps me trained, I love to do it, and I lead a running group of more than a dozen women and I help them become runners, too. As a non-athlete my whole life, it was a freakin' miracle to me that I was able to become a runner just by finding a plan, sticking to it, and having someone help keep me accountable. I will probably be a runner for the rest of my life.
That being said, I have been close in touch with Tony about this, too. He knows I am a runner and am training for a long-distance race and he's supportive. If this means I have a body that's more likely to grace the cover of Runner's World than Oxygen three or six months from now, that's fine with me. I have to do what feels right in my heart and have to continue to be the best me I can be. Not try to be anyone else. Oh, and before anyone says anything, YES, I cleared the extra meal with Tony himself. :) I still ended up under 1600 calories and burned over 900, according to Fitday.com.
Definitely still in weight-loss mode and light years beyond where I've been for the past few months. So, here's how my day went today. I had a GREAT day:
M1: vanilla whey protein shake w/glutamine and ¼ c. blueberries
55 minute run, 5 mile run
M2: 1/2 cup scrambled egg whites, 1/2 c oatmeal with 1/4 c sugar free syrup and 1 T flax oil
75 minute triceps workout
M3: Myoplex lite shake w/glutamine
1 bottle vitamin water
M4: 4 oz ground turkey w 1T ff cheese, 1 c. steamed asparagus
M5: whey protein shake w/1 T sugar free pudding
M6: 1/2 cup scrambled egg whites, w/mushrooms and 1 T ff cheese
M7: 2 jumbo stuffed mushrooms w/1 T ff cheese, green beans
Tea w/stevia and soy creamer
First, thank you so much to all you guys for reading and offering your words of encouragement, support and advice. I really do appreciate it! Second, I want to assure you that I am sticking very close to Tony and my OA sponsor to ensure that I'm not slipping back into a scenario where I'm calling the shots, which is not a healthy situation, nor is it one that leads to success.
So, today life happened - I made a stupid decision to have Vitamin Water while I was sitting in 90 degree heat at my daughter's soccer practice. I didn't want to bring ACV water because I'd already had 3 liters and they don't have port-a-potties. But I should have known that with that heat I would be HOT. So, I'll know next time just to get plain old water. What a waste of calories!
Also, for those who don't know me - I am a RUNNER! I ran the Philadelphia Marathon back in 2005 and ever since, I have run two races every year - the Broad Street 10-Mile Run in May and the Philadelphia Distance Run or the Philadelphia Half Marathon in the Fall (13.1 miles). This keeps me trained, I love to do it, and I lead a running group of more than a dozen women and I help them become runners, too. As a non-athlete my whole life, it was a freakin' miracle to me that I was able to become a runner just by finding a plan, sticking to it, and having someone help keep me accountable. I will probably be a runner for the rest of my life.
That being said, I have been close in touch with Tony about this, too. He knows I am a runner and am training for a long-distance race and he's supportive. If this means I have a body that's more likely to grace the cover of Runner's World than Oxygen three or six months from now, that's fine with me. I have to do what feels right in my heart and have to continue to be the best me I can be. Not try to be anyone else. Oh, and before anyone says anything, YES, I cleared the extra meal with Tony himself. :) I still ended up under 1600 calories and burned over 900, according to Fitday.com.
Definitely still in weight-loss mode and light years beyond where I've been for the past few months. So, here's how my day went today. I had a GREAT day:
M1: vanilla whey protein shake w/glutamine and ¼ c. blueberries
55 minute run, 5 mile run
M2: 1/2 cup scrambled egg whites, 1/2 c oatmeal with 1/4 c sugar free syrup and 1 T flax oil
75 minute triceps workout
M3: Myoplex lite shake w/glutamine
1 bottle vitamin water
M4: 4 oz ground turkey w 1T ff cheese, 1 c. steamed asparagus
M5: whey protein shake w/1 T sugar free pudding
M6: 1/2 cup scrambled egg whites, w/mushrooms and 1 T ff cheese
M7: 2 jumbo stuffed mushrooms w/1 T ff cheese, green beans
Tea w/stevia and soy creamer
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Day 2 of My Recommitment
A good day, I think. After dinner, I made the decision to have 6 meals today, instead of 5, with two whey protein shakes after dinner, spaced a couple hours apart. I was really hungry this evening, so I figured I needed the calories. Here’s how today went:
30 minute run
M1: 1/2 cup scrambled egg whites, 1/2 c oatmeal with 1/4 c sugar free syrup and 1 T flax oil
45 minute chest workout
M2: Myoplex lite shake w/glutamine
M3: 4 oz ground turkey w/1T organic ketchup, 1 c. steamed asparagus
M4: 5 oz chicken breast, 1 c cauliflower, 3 c salad w/light ranch dressing
M5: whey protein shake w/1 T sugar free pudding
M6: whey protein shake w/1 T sugar free pudding
Total calories: 1,492
4 liters of ACV water.
Some real successes today – not a single addition that isn’t listed here – thought about adding fat-free cheese here or there, didn’t. Watched a movie with my girls and made them microwave popcorn and DID NOT EAT A SINGLE KERNEL. Ordered pizza and curly fries (at their request) for the girls and did not eat a SINGLE BITE. I’m in touch today with the fact that I cannot afford a single compulsive bite. So, I avoid it like a poison. And so far, SO SO SO GOOD!
Oh, and did I mention I have stayed away from the scale, too? YEAH, baby! Two days and counting.
30 minute run
M1: 1/2 cup scrambled egg whites, 1/2 c oatmeal with 1/4 c sugar free syrup and 1 T flax oil
45 minute chest workout
M2: Myoplex lite shake w/glutamine
M3: 4 oz ground turkey w/1T organic ketchup, 1 c. steamed asparagus
M4: 5 oz chicken breast, 1 c cauliflower, 3 c salad w/light ranch dressing
M5: whey protein shake w/1 T sugar free pudding
M6: whey protein shake w/1 T sugar free pudding
Total calories: 1,492
4 liters of ACV water.
Some real successes today – not a single addition that isn’t listed here – thought about adding fat-free cheese here or there, didn’t. Watched a movie with my girls and made them microwave popcorn and DID NOT EAT A SINGLE KERNEL. Ordered pizza and curly fries (at their request) for the girls and did not eat a SINGLE BITE. I’m in touch today with the fact that I cannot afford a single compulsive bite. So, I avoid it like a poison. And so far, SO SO SO GOOD!
Oh, and did I mention I have stayed away from the scale, too? YEAH, baby! Two days and counting.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Day 1 of My Recommitment
So, today went very, very well. I am SOOOO proud of myself:
M1 (8 am): ½ c egg whites, plain, oatmeal w/1 T flax oil and ¼ c sugar free syrup
Chest workout
M2 (11 am) Myoplex shake w/glutamine
M3 (3 pm) 2 oz deli turkey, 1 slice veggie slice cheese
M4 (6:30 pm) 6 oz flounder/sole, 1 c cauliflower, 2 c salad w/lite balsamic dressing, tomatoes and onions
M5 (8:30 pm) Whey protein shake w/2 T sf fat free pudding powder
The only bad part is that I didn't eat nearly enough calories. Just shy of 1,100 calories. What's up with that?? Tony??? Can I get a decent calorie range, please? Training for a 10-mile run over here! Hello???
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Up and Down
Yes, it's true. You're not seeing things. I'm up five pounds from last week. Combination of emotional eating and not getting to the gym since last Friday and I'm definitely not in a good place, at least as far as the number on the scale. I've had strep throat, for those of you who don't know, but that's no excuse for how I've been eating. In fact, most people would probably have lost weight in my situation because it has been so painful to eat. Leave it to someone with my addictive personality to find a way. My daughter actually said to me at one point, "Mommy, if it feels like you're swallowing knives, why are you eating?"
Good question.
The good news? I'm definitely still in the game. It takes a lot more than five pounds to take me out of it. I loved Tina's comment from the other day. I love the support and encouragement you guys give and I cannot WAIT to be the one giving that support and encouragement to someone else new (I'm still relatively new) who's struggling to break through a plateau. Not a weight plateau, but a mental plateau.
So, I have my food plan and workout printed and ready. I'm meeting my sister at the gym tomorrow, where we will get in really good long workouts and then back to her house for our MRP w/glutamine followed by massages. I'm looking forward to tomorrow for the first time in a long time.
It will be sunny, I will be sunny. I'm so grateful to be alive. I don't want to waste my time sabotaging my own happiness.
I'll report in more regularly, too, though it may not include weight updates as often. I'm going to try to go back to weighing once a week, rather than every day. (Whoa - I thought I just heard a cheer roar out from cyberspace.)
Good question.
The good news? I'm definitely still in the game. It takes a lot more than five pounds to take me out of it. I loved Tina's comment from the other day. I love the support and encouragement you guys give and I cannot WAIT to be the one giving that support and encouragement to someone else new (I'm still relatively new) who's struggling to break through a plateau. Not a weight plateau, but a mental plateau.
So, I have my food plan and workout printed and ready. I'm meeting my sister at the gym tomorrow, where we will get in really good long workouts and then back to her house for our MRP w/glutamine followed by massages. I'm looking forward to tomorrow for the first time in a long time.
It will be sunny, I will be sunny. I'm so grateful to be alive. I don't want to waste my time sabotaging my own happiness.
I'll report in more regularly, too, though it may not include weight updates as often. I'm going to try to go back to weighing once a week, rather than every day. (Whoa - I thought I just heard a cheer roar out from cyberspace.)
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