Day 2...small victories

So, if I look at the big picture and how much I have to lose, I get discouraged. Instead, I need to focus on the small victories in each day. So today, here's what I did that I consider supportive of achieving my goals:

1. I drank two liters of water, which is great. I think my goal for tomorrow will be to reintroduce the apple cider vinegar drink tomorrow, and see how that goes.
2. I continued to log today, despite going off my food plan (which, to be fair, was only planned in my head).
3. I walked for the first time for exercise - 1.5 miles in 30 minutes.
4. I told on myself - that I've been struggling with negative self talk, behavior I have every intention of changing.

Well, that's today. I've lost 17.5 pounds since I had the baby. That's progress, not too bad for 11 days out! I will keep you guys posted as I continue to make progress!!!

New Beginnings

Well, baby is here!! For those of you who aren't friends with me on Facebook or Twitter, why aren't you? No, seriously, he was born on March 14 at 9:40 am weighing in at 8 lbs, 15 0z., and measuring 21.5 inches long. Big boy! He's an amazing, wonderful little boy - sweet and happy. I can't stop kissing, snuggling and loving on him. Can you blame me?

Things are going fairly well. I've been having some problems breastfeeding - would have thought that wouldn't happen by the 4th kid, but no one prepared me for the nonstop voracity of boys - and for the past few days have been exclusively pumping, which is going well and helping.

I'm also raring to get back in the saddle of getting in shape, hence the newly designed blog and updated goals. I"m determined to look halfway decent when we go to Sea Isle for two weeks in August. I know that's still a ways off, but I'm going to have to work hard to reach my goals so I need to start now. My midwife recommended I wait till next week to work out, so I haven't been exercising at all, but I'm really ready to test the waters. I've been watching closely what I eat and have lost close to 20 pounds already (of course that's what happens after you have a baby, and I'd really hoped it would be closer to 30, but I'll take what I can get.)

Anyhoo, I'm back and ready to recreate myself yet again. And this time, my tubes were tied so I don't have to worry about doing this all over again. It's so hard to come back from pregnnacy, especially for me because I always gain so much dang weight. Anyway, I hope you'll follow me and support me in this journey. I look forward to sharing it with you!!

Week 35...Perspective

So, I guess the theme for this week is perspective. Is the glass half full or half empty? Am I lazy or finally slowing down and resting for the last month of this pregnancy? All I know is I'm finding it harder and harder to find the energy to even get up in the middle of the night the 18 times a night biology forces me to do so, let alone summon the additional energy to don my workout clothes and get a nice workout in before I start my day.

What I do know is that I'm tired, tired, tired. I have been trying to stay positive in these posts, have tried to keep them well-rounded, not just about my fixation on how much weight I've gained or even what pregnancy symptoms I'm currently experiencing. But this week, I just can't help it. It's pretty much all I'm thinking about.

OK - I started writing that last night and first, I have to say I feel MUCH better this morning. How's that for perspective? That being said, I still feel huge. So, I'm gonna lay it down for you guys.

I cannot WAIT to get back in my groove again. For those of you who didn't know me pre-pregnancy, here's a pic. I LOVE being a girl, and love wearing clothes that show my curves. I'm not looking to be perfect or plastic . For now, I'm looking to get back to where I was. Although, if I'm being honest, I do have to admit that I have looked into the cost of liposuction and even have a library of before and after pics and places that can do the surgery.

I'm not even saying that I'm not going to do it. I may very well do it, when the kids are older. I know I'm not trying to have to worry about the recovery associated with liposuction post op with three young children and a newborn. But it is out there as an option in my mind if exercise and diet alone don't do it for me. I am a hardcore exercise fiend. I LOVE running and lifting weights and non-pregnant, I do it 5-6 times a week without complaining. I eat healthy without denying myself occasional treats. But let's face it, after four children and with 40 in my rear view mirror, I might need a little extra help to get back to what I looked like (and didn't appreciate) when I was in my twenties before I had kids.

For now, though, I'll be happy to get back to this. This is a picture of me from last year this time. Boy, what a difference a year makes, huh? Now, PLEASE don't get me wrong. I am SO happy to be having another baby. I'm so thrilled and feel so blessed to be having a healthy boy to add to our family of girls. I almost cannot believe it's happening, and I fully intend to enjoy being a new mother again just as I have enjoyed this pregnancy. I have eaten healthy but enjoyed indulgences. I have worked out, but taken it easy when my body has told me it's time to slow down (like now...I can't even get my butt to the gym anymore). And to be totally honest, this pregnancy has taught me a lot about how to not be in constant diet mode. I think now that there is sometimes as much value in a hot bath as there is for a good workout. It might not burn as many calories, but I believe that I have struggled sometimes with losing the last ten pounds just because of how much I WANTED to do it and how stressed out I was about it. I have learned, during this pregnancy, how to relax without giving up the entire goal.

So, my friends, although this phase of my life - the pregnancy - may be nearing it's close. The story is FAR from over. And I look so forward to sharing the next chapter with you!

Week 33...6 weeks and counting!

So, when D-day comes (and by D-day I mean "delivery day") comes, I fully intend to recreate this site. There's going to be so much to talk about - relaunching my music career, recreating my body post-baby, relaunching myself back into my consulting career. I can hardly wait to get started.

For now, though, i must admit that I'm already at the same amount of weight gained I was at the end of my last pregnancy, which is a bit startling. I'm not giving up the fight, though. I ordered my Bamboo Belly Bandit (hey, I can't knock it till I've tried it, right?) and have selected my jogger travel system. Hell, I even signed up for the 10-mile Broad Street Run on May 1st, not quite 6 weeks after I deliver. Not sure how that's gonna work since the recovery from a c-section is generally 6 weeks, but my midwife is supportive so I'm going for it.

Today was a wonderful day - kids were snowed in and between meetings, we played Just Dance 2 on the Wii, made fairy cookies and hot cocoa, and watched last night's American Idol. They even had reading time and arts and crafts. Something about the snow brings out the good mom in me, I must say. :)

Guess that's all for now. Good night, all!

Happy New Year, at last!!! ...Week 32

Man, I feel like I am finally able to exhale after the holidays. Today is my daughter Amelia's seventh birthday. We started today off with the celebratory donuts that have become a tradition. I didn't realize how much of a tradition until my daughters told me last night that they were VERY excited for the donuts that were coming. I was like, "What donuts?" And they said, "The donuts we get every time it's someone's birthday." Guess it's a tradition now!

Anyhoo, back to the whole Happy New Year thing. Last week, I think I talked about how frustrated I had been with how much illness was ripping through the house. Honestly, I couldn't even come up for air long enough to appreciate the fact that we had made it through the holidays. Yep, I said it. I feel like I hold my breath from October 31 through Jan 1 because of all the temptations to CONSUME - to consume food, to consume alcohol, to consume products in stores. It just feels so great when it's over and it all goes back to normal. I know, I know...some of you out there are saying, maybe you need to get in touch with the spirit of the holidays... And maybe I do, but I'm just being honest here.

So, I managed to make it through with fairly little damage to our finances, or to my whole pregnancy weight gain goal (which is just to keep it to somewhere around my average weight gain from the past three pregnancies), but I couldn't really stop to enjoy it because I was caught in such a whirlwind of everyone getting sick, then better, then sick again. And, in the midst of all that, I had this client who supposedly wanted to renew my contract with them but to do so was involving so much back and forth, so much negotiating, I was barely sleeping from the stress of it all.

Well, that ended yesterday and everyone is healthy and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I have just the amount of work I really want, and clients who really value and appreciate my contributions and even a little time to actually prepare for this new baby who's coming (whether we're ready or not) in less than 8 weeks!!!

So, yes, I'm happy. I'm blissfully happy. Happy, happy, happy. Life is back to normal, and for the record, my normal life is nothing short of extraordinary.

Enjoy your Thursday, everyone!

Week 28...All I Want for Christmas

All I want for Christmas is to be HEALTHY.

Week 28. Officially in the third trimester. We are in the final stretch, folks, and no one is more happy about that than I. (Funny thing is, I find myself still amazed and befuddled when I look down at my protruding stomach, thinking, "How did we get here again?") But I feel generally pretty good, other than a lingering cough from last week's QUARANTINE situation.

Last Wednesday, my 6 year old started complaining of stomach pains and before long was curved over the toilet, throwing up. Needless to say, she stayed home with me. I sent a text to my mother's helper and found out (through an inadvertent text she had intended to send to her sister that ended "WTF?") that she is deathly afraid of stomach bugs, so I was essentially on my own with it. Not too bad, since for the most part my daughter was pretty perky and I didn't have much on my calendar other than a holiday party, and the hostess was gracious about letting her tag along with me.

Sad for me, I had forgotten about the sneakiness of stomach bugs. How they can look benign and short-lived in one person and linger for days in another. Friday, as I went to bed, I start feeling like I was going into early labor, my stomach was hurting so bad. I could barely sleep. Just past midnight, I heard a scream from my 4-year old's room. She had just wretched in her bed. After finally getting her bed sheets changed and getting her settled down, I felt it coming on for me. I had endured 7 months of pregnancy without puking and this stomach bug was taking me down. An hour later, my 8-year old was calling out for help and back in our room, my husband was complaining of feeling queasy. It was going to be a long day.

As luck would have it, I also had some sort of head cold on top of everything else, along with a fever. So, while everyone else has mostly recovered (my husband still complains of queasiness), I am coughing like a 70-year old barmaid with a 2-packs a day habit. I'm still grateful that the bug ran through our house quickly, rather than taking us out one at a time. Christmas is the day after tomorrow and my girls are healthy. That's the most important thing. My husband and I are getting better day by day. This time next week, we'll be in Arizona with my sister and her family and that can only improve our situation.

So, all I want for Christmas is to be HEALTHY. If I get nice jewelry, or a trip to the spa, even better. But honestly, after surviving this last week of nonstop illness, I'm pretty focused on the basic things for which I have to be grateful: my wonderful family, a job I love that pays well, great friends who make me laugh out loud long and often, and of course, if nothing else, at least I have my health.

Stay warm and dry everyone, and be grateful for the little things. The things that you get for Christmas every year without even having to ask.

Testing, Shmesting...Mom's Coming.

I started to write a whole blog about amniocentesis and advanced maternal age and genetic testing and blah blah blah and it was just kind of depressing. What I really want to talk about is the fact that my mother is coming to visit today. I’m really looking forward to seeing her, but I have to admit that I’m a little nervous about how she’ll react to my big old pregnant belly. Is she gonna think that I’m holding it together this time, or is it gonna be obvious that I’ve already gained the recommended amount despite the fact that I’m only halfway through my pregnancy? Overall, I feel really healthy and extremely blessed to be pregnant again, not only with our fourth child but with our very first son. I’m very much looking forward to sharing that joy with my mother, who had five children of her own. I do have to admit, however, that my mother’s reaction to my ever-blossoming pregnant body is not exactly at the bottom of my list of worries.

I come from a long line of women, you’re probably not at all surprised to hear, who were obsessed with their weight. I can still remember visiting my grandmother in the nursing home when she was 93 years old, and her telling me that she weighed herself every day and replaced two of her daily meals with Slimfast shakes. Why they would let a 93 year old woman have Slimfast instead of a meal, I have no idea. I guess I say all that to say that I come by all this neurosis honestly. Anyway, my children are totally excited for Grandma’s meet. She may even get to see my eldest daughter’s first winter swim meet, and we all plan to go out to dinner on Thursday night to a fabulous restaurant in Abington, PA called Timber. It should be a fun evening. By then I should have the results of my fetal echocardiogram and hopefully have been told that the baby is growing fine and is completely healthy. By all accounts, it should be a fabulous weekend…if I can just let go of my age-old neuroses and relax, it might actually end up that way!