Three weeks to form a habit

I'm two and a half weeks into working with a "real" personal trainer, so I figured now would be as good a time as any to start my official blog. Well, that and the fact that my trainer suggested it.

I started my own business three months ago (three months ago yesterday, in fact) after reading Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret" and applying it to my feverish desire to break free of the corporate prison in which I'd been living for nearly three years. (I was a training hack for a big pharmaceutical company.) Now, I consult to large, mid-size and small companies and make four times what I was making on the inside. Not only enough to pay my bills, I realized, but enough to throw some serious cash at the weight problem with which I had been struggling for nearly 30 years.

First, I joined a gym. (One of the drawbacks to leaving my pharma job was that I could no longer workout at the gym onsite. Well, I could, but would probably get kicked out before I made it through even a 20-minute BFL cardio session.) Part of joining the gym was that I got two free training sessions and I have to admit, I kinda hit it off with my trainer right from the start. She was a really good sport when I told her how unimpressed I'd been with virtually every trainer I'd ever met (except for the little ex-Marine who taught me how to do Roman Chair ab exercises with a weight between my ankles). Because I have struggled with my weight since before Michael left the Jackson 5, I have tried every diet including the 9-Day Diet, Atkins, Scarsdale Diet, the Master Cleanse, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, you name it. I have done Jazzercise, Pilates, Spinning, BFL, run a marathon, even been certified a personal trainer myself. Through it all, this has remained true: I have been (or even at my best, have felt) something ranging from slightly overweight to moderately obese every single minute.

So, here I am, trying again. Several huge milestones have passed during this time working with Kristen.

1. This is the first year in I cannot remember how long that I did not gain weight in the period between Mother's Day and Father's Day. (My birthday and my husband's birthday are both in there, plus a trip to California for my niece's graduation from high school.) I don't think I've lost very much, either, but I'll take the small successes where they come.
2. Speaking of said California vacation, I actually ate responsibly the entire time I was there and worked out four of the six days! It was a little intimidating to be at an L.A. Fitness in LA, where everyone wore perfectly coordinated yoga pants and sport bras to show off their chiseled abs and despite how hard it looked like they were working out, no one seemed to actually sweat. I, on the other hand, was covered in sweat by the time I finished dropping off my 21 month old at the kid camp before I even got started. By the end of my workouts, I was dripping wet and completely red-faced. Philly represents!
3. I have not given up.

So, I know the value of blogging and sharing with others my successes and progress. I'm not sure who to share this with or if anyone will even read it (besides me and Kristen), but I'm going to be open and honest.

Tonight, I am sore. Kristen kicked my a** today in the gym, as usual. I never thought I would actually look forward to push ups, but everything else was so friggin' hard. And I was seeing some muscle definition in the mirror, so that made it more fun than the other exercises, too. I made the mistake of telling Kristen that I'd like to have a goal of doing one (just one!) unassisted pull up.

Kristen: "Well, you know what that means, right?"

Me: "I need to lose some weight so I'll have less to lift?"

Kristen: "No, it means you'll have to do more assisted pull ups to get your self stronger and ready to do one."

Shit.

Somehow, I still have tons of energy by the end of each day, though. I used to fall out by 8:30 pm. Not sure if this is still leftover jet lag from the West Coast trip, but I'll take it. I'm sore as hell, but a massage on Friday will take care of that. I still struggle with what to have for "dessert" at night. I know it would be good if I could just get out of the habit of wanting dessert, but I'm not there yet. May never be. I am going back off Splenda, though. My skin has started breaking out again in the last day or so, just since I re-introduced Splenda and diet soda.

When will I stop having to learn everything the hard way??

Okay - tomorrow is another day. I have my food planned out. Haven't decided what to do for a workout. I suppose I should e-mail Kristen and ask her. We haven't really talked about what to do on my off days - I do kickboxing on Tuesdays and boot camp on Fridays.

Okay, okay. Really. I'm off to bed now. Goodnight!